She's Kind of a Disaster

13- I'm a Phase

"Early examples of legal enactments designed to consciously preserve the environment, for its own sake or human enjoyment, are found throughout history. In the common law..." My environmental law professor drones on and on continuously for the entire lecture and I can feel my mind numbing.

Most of the people in this lecture hall are intrigued by the topic, listening tirelessly to what is being taught but I just do not care. I mean, of course, I care about the environment but I do not care about the law behind it. However, law is kind of the thing that I'm studying so I better get used to the mind-numbing boredom because that is the rest of my life.

When the professor finally releases the class, I'm out of there like a bat out of hell. This is my last class on Tuesdays, I'm going to another fight with Shaw. They have their 'fight club' every Tuesday and he said that he'll take me again when I asked.

That's not until tonight though. Before that, I have a Pre-Law Association (PLA) meeting and then a philosophy of law paper to start after that. And then I can get ready to go out tonight. I'm excited for it but it feels like it's still a year away considering how much crap I have to do between now and then.

I don't even have time to go back to my room before the PLA meeting so I get to that meeting and I know that it's going to be just as mind-numbing as my environmental law class was because it's all legal stuff. In today's meeting, we discuss a mock court date where we all pretend that we're in a courthouse working on a case like we're already lawyers. It's cool to do once but they get insanely boring when you have to memorize all of the legal jargon and court etiquette and it's just a lot and it's wildly boring.

I am the president of the PLA which means that instead of zoning out like I do in my law classes, I actually have to listen and contribute to the conversations. I have to run the conversations, which is even worse. The hour that our meeting lasts feels like eternity because of how boring it all is and then I'm out of that meeting and headed back to my room to get started on this stupid paper that's due next week.

And as if my mood couldn't get any worse, I swing open the apartment door to find Jesse and Clayton on the couch, lying together and making out like crazy. When they hear the door opening, the jump away from each other so dramatically that Clayton falls off the couch.

Blinding rage hits me first, causing the door to slam behind me so hard it sounds like the wood cracks. Almost immediately after, it's this frustration that brings these awful tears to my eyes. I press two knuckles into my eyes to keep the tears at bay as I mutter to myself, "How is this my life?"

"Sorry," Jesse says between ragged breaths. "I didn't think you'd get back for a while."

"I fucking live here!" I shout louder than I meant to and they both wince back. "And how about instead of saying sorry, you just stop doing things that you'll be sorry for. Like holy fuck, are you two brain dead?"

I don't give them the time to answer the question before I'm slamming my bedroom door shut between us, only with a slightly less amount of force than the first door slamming. Every time I think this can't hurt any more, they prove to me that I'm wrong. When exactly did Jesse stop caring about me? I wonder if I'd done anything to upset him when he decided that I didn't matter to him anymore. And how was he so good at hiding it for so long?

My rage doesn't dissipate at all as I get ready to go out with Shaw. I blast music almost loud enough to drown out Jesse pounding on my door, pleading a thousand more apologies that don't mean anything. 

I furiously shove a couple of days worth of clothes in a bag on my way out. Jesse is still standing at my door when I open it and start barging my way through the apartment.