She's Kind of a Disaster

8- We Got Back Together

On Sunday morning, I feel the sun shining on my face as I wake up and I think that maybe I can get through the day without crying. It's been over a week now since I found Clay and Jesse together, so maybe I can start to find some normalcy again. I get out of bed in a good mood, thinking that I'll make a nice breakfast before doing some shopping.

But that good mood and any progress I thought I would make today all goes down the drain when I open my bedroom door and see Clayton sitting on the couch with Jesse beside him and they're laughing like they don't have a care in the world. 

Seeing them together feels like it's ripping a hole through my chest because it's just another reminder that they abandoned me for each other and now they're flaunting it in front of me, as if bragging to me about how they won some fucked up game. As if I needed the reminder. Clay's apartment is just down the hall and he doesn't have any roommates, so there's really no reason for them to be throwing it in my face on a Sunday morning. It especially stings because I was so sure that I could start feeling better today.

"Good morning," Jesse greets me. At least he has the brain power to look uncomfortable about the situation. 

"You have to do this here?" I ask him. "The fuck is wrong with Clayton's apartment?"

"We were just-"

"I don't care what you're doing," I interrupt Clay when he tries to justify his presence. "I don't want you in my apartment."

They don't have a response to that and I don't wait for them to think of one, making my way into the kitchen to make breakfast. I don't know if I have the stomach for it anymore, but I'm going to try to get through it anyway.

I barely have the griddle set up when Bella walks through the front door. I didn't invite her over, but she usually comes for Sunday breakfast. Today, she's wearing sunglasses inside, her dark hair tied in a tired bun on her head. She's clearly hungover and looking for some reprieve. 

"I don't smell bacon," She pouts.

"I'm working on it," I assure her. "Start cracking eggs."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Bella asks in a harsh tone before she can reach for the carton. When I turn around, she's glaring at Clayton. 

Both Clayton and Jesse look baffled and have absolutely no idea what to say or how to explain this. I look on as they flounder, looking at each other and then at me as if I am the one that has an explanation for them. 

I know that coming out in our conservative community is scary for them, but I can't let that be my problem right now. Not after everything that they've done. They wouldn't be in this position anyway, if they were at Clayton's apartment instead of ours. 

"We got back together," I hear Clayton blurt out as a desperate excuse and I have to bite back an incredulous scoff.

Bella looks to me now for confirmation. I have to deny it, tell him to find another excuse. I don't have to lie to her about something like this. How can I pretend to have a boyfriend and lie to Bella like that? Pretend to be in a relationship with Clay, like we're happy and nothing is going on anymore? 

I open my mouth to tell her the truth, because those two can't keep getting away with using me as a pawn like this, but Jesse  beats me to it and interrupts me by saying, "Yeah, it was just a big misunderstanding."

"Oh," She blinks a few times and digests this information. "Well, that's a relief. When she told me that you've been cheating on her for two years, I could barely even believe it, I should have known that it wasn't true. I mean, what kind of piece of shit do you have to be to lie to somebody for that long? Sorry about the truck then."