Misery Business (Sequel to Never Let This Go) *Paramore*

Chapter Ten: More Words

Hayley's P.O.V.

After a full month of tour, I find myself silently counting the days that Taylor and I haven't been together. I know it's wrong, but I can't stop myself; it's too hard. I truly need to get over myself, and find a way to move on. Today marks exactly six weeks since we broke up. A month and a half and no progress has been made for me, not even a percentage.

It's extra hard when you're basically living together on a tour bus, as well. I get up and there he is. He's at the meetings, when we have interviews, the shows, the bus, and the hotels. Considering we have Fall Out Boy though, it's not as bad as it could be. We spend a good amount of time with them, hanging out, going out to eat, and sharing a stage.

Today we have some interviews to do, and to be honest, I'm a bit nervous. We've only been doing a couple interviews recently,and all of them were okay because we pushed away certain topics. This one will be different, I can feel it.

Once Taylor, Jeremy, and I get there, Fall Out Boy is doing an interview in another room. The interviewer walks in, she is tall with long blonde hair, and has grey eyes. She looks very kind. "Hey how are you guys? I'm Kayla and I'll be interviewing you today," she greets us.

"Doing great," we all respond.

"That's great, so let's just get this started. I know that a lot you three have gone through a lot of horrible things in the past few months, so to respect how you feel about that, I want to do a fun interview," she says with a smile. "Hopefully it'll change things up a bit,"

I don't know why that makes me so happy, but it does. I'm smiling from ear to ear to prove myself, as well. "This is already fun," Jeremy says into his mic. Kayla laughs a little and reads a question off of her phone. As we move through the questions, they are all simple and goofy questions, nothing serious. I like that. Jeremy, Taylor, and I share some laughs like how we used to.

I wonder what would've happened if Angela never targeted me. If I was still happily with Chad. I mean, sure I forgave him for his mental institution comment a while back, but I sort of miss that life. A little. Having nothing horrible on my mind, not self harming, not starving. Nothing. I miss it so much...

After the interview, I decide to go hang out on the Fall Out Boy bus before the show. Andy and Patrick went out to explore the place while I'm with Pete and Joe. We're in Pennsylvania so why not? "So how are you doing since...last month?" Pete asks me.

"I'm getting by," I respond. "Do you have video games?"

"Do you have orange hair?" Joe asks me.

"Ew old men play video games, huh?" I tease the two. "That's pretty messed up, I don't know,"

"Dude, I'm only like four years older than you," Joe explains looking sarcastically offended.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" I ask standing up from the couch. I love hanging out with Fall Out Boy to be honest, they are really fun guys to be around. Even though Joe and Pete know about what happened and my depression, they don't pity me, they make me forget about it and have a good laugh instead.

They like to fool around and have fun, which I think is great. I love that. When I'm with them, it's different then when I'm with Taylor and Jeremy, because they aren't living in the same black hole. They have lives and choose to live in them through positivity in ways that I couldn't do myself. We're great friends, and having a good laugh and being around new people is a good therapy for me in a weird way.

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Taylor's P.O.V.

Hayley's been gone for a while now, she's been hanging out with Pete and Joe all afternoon, and I'm starting to get a little worried. What are they doing that's been taking four hours of the day? We have sound check in an hour. Jeremy is on the phone wth Kat, so I decide to just go ahead and go to there bus. "Hey, what's up?" Joe asks as I knock on the front door.

"Is Hayley still here?" I ask the afro.

"Sure, yeah," he says opening the door more so I can come in. Hayley and Pete are laughing about some random thing and eating popcorn. They got her to eat. I haven't seen her so happy in a long time, actually. Playing video games, eating, and smiling. I was never able to give her that, was I? I was never enough. I never fixed her the way I should've.

"I just forgot, I need to go do something, sorry," I lie. Hayley doesn't even notice I'm here.

"Are you okay?" Joe asks me. "You seem pale,"

"I'm fine, thanks," I respond walking out. I end up on a walk, making myself believe that I need to clear my head, even though I've done plenty of that in the past month. I walk past the buses, past all of the people, and down the sidewalk, not really caring about where I may end up at all. If I'm alone then I'll take it.

No wonder she broke up with me. I don't make her smile like they can, and I was dating her. I was never able to get her to eat popcorn, or anything really. Jeremy was wrong when he said she would do anything for me, because she doesn't care about me that way. She just wants to be around people who make her happy, and I'm not one of them.

I end up late to sound check, and it's basically over by the time I get there. "Taylor, where were you? We were worried, you're never late," Aaron asks me once I reach the stage. I shrug and I get what feels like a million pairs of eyes looking at me; especially Hayley's. Her's look sad though. Mine are just lost.

"Well we've already finished up with this, so don't torture yourself," Jeremy tells me. "Looks like you've just found out the world's ending," Yeah, well, my world is ending. Hayley is the one to walk over to me and pull me backstage, even though I really just don't want to talk to anyone.

"What's wrong? For real?" she asks looking concerned. Her eyes are wide and don't look as bright as before.

"Nothing," I tell her. Everything is wrong, Hayley. Everything.

"Seriously T, what's up?" She asks looking hurt. "Did I do something to hurt you?"

"Is that a trick question or do you just starve yourself when you're around me?" I ask too coldly, immediately regretting it. She steps back as if I'm going to do something to hurt her physically, knowing I already emotionally hurt her.

"Why would you say that?" she asks quietly.

"Why don't you ask your popcorn filled stomach," I say. It's like another side of me is taking over my body and I can't think straight. I just say stupid things.

"Stay out of that," she tells me calmly.

"How do you expect me to stay out of something like that?! You eat when I'm not around and starve when I am?! Is it for attention?!" I ask a little louder.

"Don't you dare say it's for attention! Do you think I cut up my own wrist for attention? Did I stabbed for attention too?!" she yells back. She's crying now a little bit. I can't blame her though.

"Eating is completely different then getting stabbed and you know that," I explain a little more calmly.

"Is it?" she asks me softly. With that she walks in the direction I went in when I was walking. Great. Not only did she brake up with me but she hates my guts. I doubt she'll even want to look at me for the rest of the tour...

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Whoops. Did I type that? Didn't mean to. Oh wait, yeah I did.