Misery Business (Sequel to Never Let This Go) *Paramore*

Chapter Eleven: Hurting

Hayley's P.O.V.

It's been a whole week since I fought with Taylor. We're in Tampa, Florida now. I honestly can't believe what he told me, it was pretty offensive. Then again he saw me laughing and popcorn like nothing was ever wrong. I was laughing because Pete said something funny, and just because I'm now labeled as 'depressed' I can't laugh?

As for the popcorn, I only ate it because I was pretending that I could be happy for once, and be the old me. I want it back. I seriously considering purging after that, I have to admit. I didn't though. I don't see the point of eating just to throw it back up. I might as well keep it down.

I never meant to hurt Taylor, and I would never dream of it. He did say some things that stung, too. I just wish none of this ever happened. I wish I never dated him, Angela never targeted me, and I was never diagnosed with depression. If I never dated him then this wouldn't hurt so much. As this flies through my head as I lay in my bunk, my phone goes off. "Hello?" I ask through the phone.

"Hey, it's Chad," I hear him respond.

"Hey, Chad, what's up?" I ask.

"I thought you should be the first to hear, I've been doing that research you suggested a while back. I've been looking through some old news from when I was a kid to find anything, and I did. There was a murder when I was two," Chad explains to me sounding nervous.

"Are you serious? Did you get any other information?" I ask sounding a little too desperate. As I'm on the phone, I get out of the bunk with difficulty and go to the back of the bus where my laptop is.

"I'm working on that. If you wanted to help, that would be great," he tells me.

"Of course I want to help! I'm on it," I say a bit excitedly. "Call me if you find anything,"

"I will. Talk to you later," he responds kindly.

"Bye," I say into the phone hanging up. I log into the laptop and look up some news articles from 1984.

"What are you doing?" Jeremy asks walking into the back lounge and sitting next to me.

"Nothing you would agree with," I explain typing Chad's hometown into the search box.

"What does that mean?" he asks sounding somewhat concerned.

"It means that you shouldn't worry yourself," I respond not even looking up at him. I want to research this, because this is now or never. I can't wait. All of a sudden Jeremy takes my laptop and runs out of the room. "Jeremy give it back!" I yell chasing him. He runs into the bathroom and shuts the door, locking it. "Jeremy!" I obnoxiously hit the door in hope he will open it, but he won't. Just silence. 

"Why did he take your laptop?" Taylor asks from the couch.

"I was researching something and apparently he wants to know what it was," I explain crossing me arms. Suddenly he opens the door and hands me my laptop.

"Why were you looking at Chad's hometown in 1984?" he asks me confused.

"I'm helping him with something," I respond simply.

"Let me get get this straight. You just went out of your way to get your laptop back from Jeremy because you're researching something from before we were born for your ex-boyfriend?" Taylor asks me looking a little shocked. If I didn't know any better I'd think he is jealous.

"Yes. I care about him, okay? I loved him for a long time," I say quietly.

"What are you helping him with?" Jeremy asks me calmly.

"News from when he was two. It's complicated," I explain briefly.

"Does this involve Angela?" Taylor asks me softly. I hesitate a little bit, but I nod my head yes slowly.

"Can we talk about why?" Jeremy asks kindly. I hesitate again, but I nod yes and sit on the same couch as Taylor, despite the fact that we've been completely avoiding each other for a week now.

"Can you promise me you guys won't yell or get mad?" I ask quietly. I sound completely vulnerable when I say this. They both nod yes though. "A couple weeks before tour, I went to visit Chad and we talked about everything that happened. He still doesn't know why he was wanted broken, and his parents dead. I wanted to know why I was targeted, too. I tried to convince him to help me find out, but it didn't work. It's killing me though, more than that knife could've ever done. I guess it got to Chad as well, because he just called," I explain to the two.

"So he wants to help now?" Jeremy asks. I nod yes.

"So far he found out that there was a murder in his hometown when he was two. We're looking into it," I say.

"Can I help?" Taylor asks me looking down at his feet. When he asks this, a smile creeps up onto my face, and I try to hide it, but it doesn't work. I can't stay mad at Taylor. No one can.

"Of course," I say quietly, still smiling. He looks up at me with hopeful eyes, and it gets awkward fast. I feel the need to kiss him, but I don't of course. He smiles and I quickly turn away, trying to shake off the happy feeling I just got. I ruined it.

"I'll help. Only because it means a lot to you," Jeremy tells me.

"Thanks guys," I respond with a smile.

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Unless Taylor ate when I wasn't in the room, which unless I went to the bathroom didn't happen, he didn't eat. I asked him if he was okay, but apparently he isn't feeling well. Here I am laying in my bunk about to go to sleep, and I find myself worrying about Taylor.

I'm scared to death that he isn't eating because he doesn't want to. I'm scared that he is hurting to a point where he feels like I do. I'm scared for him.

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Oh no. How horrible. Goodness. My, oh my. What's wrong Taylor? Darn.