Misery Business (Sequel to Never Let This Go) *Paramore*

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Save Me

Hayley's P.O.V.

Taylor and I are on his couch, my body against his. I never left, actually. He kissed me, I kissed him back, we made up, and here we are. Taylor's arm is around me, my head resting on his chest so that I can feel him breathing. I'm hugging him like a five year old would a stuffed animal they've had for forever. I think I'm just scared he'll leave, or something will go wrong.

Everyone knows our relationship hasn't been the steadiest, but our love is real. What's tearing us apart all the time is Angela. If she weren't torturing us for almost a year now, we would be happy, I know we would. I was forced into a lot of things, as was Taylor. Not just Taylor too, but Jeremy and even Kat quite a bit. We still haven't figured out exactly why she wants to hurt me so much, either, which sucks. I haven't had the time to think about it much, but I still want to know.

"Hayley, did you eat today?" Taylor asks me kindly stroking my hair. Food isn't something I'm looking to talk about, but I know I have to. Taylor only wants to help me.

"I ate a banana this morning," I respond, which is true.

"So your appetite has been okay recently?" he asks confirming my awkward appetite and lack of eating.

"It's okay, I guess," I answer breathing in his sweet scent.

"Can I ask you something?" T asks me softly adjusting his sitting position.

"Of course," I reply, not worried at all of what the question may be. I mean, it can't be that bad, this is Taylor I'm talking to, not anyone but Taylor.

"Why did you go to the hospital?" he says after a quick moment of hesitation. I also hesitate when answering, not wanting to talk about such things I've done.

"It's safe there. They tell you what to do, you don't stress over getting by yourself. I had no way of getting to a sharp object to cut with, and they even made me eat three times a day," I stop for a second and continue. "It was a simple life that protected a suicidal girl, instead of a complicated survival against one," I explain.

Taylor leans up, and I sit up looking at him. His eyes are red now, and he looks hurt. I look down realizing what I just told him, and he holds my chin up. "Right now, are you feeling suicidal?" he asks me in a hushed tone. It takes me a moment to answer his question, as I'm not so sure myself. Am I? Do I want to kill myself right now?

"Will you ever leave my side?" I ask him with teary eyes.

"Hayley-" he tries to say changing back to the other topic I don't want to discuss currently.

"Will you?" I ask interrupting Taylor and while I prepare for the worst.

"Never will I leave your side, Hayley Nichole Spongebob Williams. After everything that's happened," he whispers to me, wiping a stray tear away from my cheek.

"Then I am not suicidal, Taylor Benjamin Button York," I respond with a soft smile. With that, Taylor brings me into his lap and holds me close, kissing my temple, leaving me with a small smile and a heart that knows, I'm definitely not falling out of love with this man.

-----

It's been almost a week since I've been out of the hospital, and I'm doing well with Taylor. Jeremy and Kat have been fine, I haven't spoken to them too much. The whole idea of avoiding them to keep them safe is fading away now. I need them, and it's becoming more and more clear.

Angela and/or the men haven't contacted me in any way, I don't know about the others. I mean, I'm sure they'd tell me if something happens, unless they get a threat or get blackmailed. As I think these things, I hear my phone buzz from the kitchen counter as I'm getting a cup of coffee. I pick it up with a text from a blocked number.

Surprise! The Puppet Master will be released in two weeks!

I'm holding onto the empty coffee cup and drop it onto the kitchen floor, watching as it shatters into tiny pieces. I can't find a way to breathe, as if my lungs have been suddenly taken away. I've never had my hands shake so much before, but I'm quite sure I'm not naked in Antarctica. I'm not even able to cry, I can only try and breathe unsuccessfully. I can't even think straight at the moment.

The cup doesn't matter, I can only hold my stomach as I'm backed into the counter. My eyes are stinging but nothing will come from them, I bet Taylor and even Jeremy got the text as well. I also guarantee that they aren't reacting as dramatically as I am. I'm still trying to breathe, I'm gasping for air, but nothing is working.

Suddenly, the tears start to fall, and I breathe a little better. I'm on the kitchen floor at this point, completely balling. I'm digging my nails into my hands as a way of getting a grip on something, but it isn't enough. I find myself eyeballing the broken coffee cup on my floor, only about a foot away.

I can't cut myself though, what would Taylor think? I haven't cut in forever, but this is so tempting. Without permission, my shaking arm extends to the broken pieces, and gently picks one up. How do I even do this when I'm shaking so much? My body and mind are fighting now, my body saying to cut and my mind saying Taylor will be disappointed.

I pull my sleeve up exposing where, in scars, it reads FREAK. I don't want to cut right now, I need to. I need to watch as the blood falls down my wrists and out of my body, like they are all of my worries leaving me forever. The broken piece of my coffee cup is shaking with my hand now, close to my wrist. I freeze when I hear the front door open though. "H-Hayley?" I hear a broken Taylor ask softly. He knew I would be a wreck.

I wipe some of my tears away and look at him as he walks to me. "Help me," I ask of him in a hushed voice. "Please save me from this,"