Misery Business (Sequel to Never Let This Go) *Paramore*

Epilogue

Taylor's P.O.V.

After three long months, I'm still breathing. It's not like I can just leave, I have a daughter to raise. Sometimes I want to leave though, despite the fact that I know I have to stay. Lacey spends a lot of time with Hayley's mom. After Hayley died, she realized how important it was for her to do everything she could for Lacey Winter, and to support me as I recover from the death.

How dare Angela ruin her, and allow her to feel the need to die. How dare I fall asleep that night, and let the one I cared about most walk straight out the door. It's my fault, and it always will be. I will never stop loving her, no matter what happens. I'll make sure that our Lacey knows her Mommy loved her, and that she will love her from above.

It's hard not to relive that night in my head...watching her raise her arms up, and lip 'I'm sorry' to me, as she jumped off that cliff, falling to the rocky bottom. I see it everywhere I go...her shaking hands, unsteady balance, and tired eyes. They were permanently burned into my skull as soon as I saw those eyes, telling me I didn't do enough. I never did enough. I wasn't good enough.

I screamed for her all night, shouting her name in disbelief. Who would've thought for it to actually happen? Who would've thought Hayley Nichole Williams would ever die the way she did at such a young age? I sure didn't. I was there, shaking and sobbing. I hoped that by some miracle she would have a beating heart, waiting for me to find her. My weakened limbs weren't enough, though.

I searched for her body all night, and not a single piece of her was found. Not in three months, could even the police solve this. There was a funeral, but no body was in that coffin. We put memories in there instead. Pieces of the Hayley we all loved, and even though we all want back, we can't have. I will never regret falling so hard for her, even though this has happened, because every moment I've spent with her, whether it was watching movies or crying with each other, I heard her sweet voice. I smelt her vanilla scent, and I felt her fragile body. She was still breathing with me...but now it's over.

That night, I sank to the ground many times, dirt or grass, telling myself that I failed her. I told myself that if it weren't for me, she would be alive. No one can tell me differently, because  I know the true. This pain will follow me everywhere now, and I've caused it all.

I haven't slept in my own bed at my own house either, because I've been sleeping in her bed, her presence still lingering around the halls. Maybe that is her, or maybe it's my imagination, but it's always there now. It's not easy to find sleep, as I search for it for hours before it comes to me. I've gotten too used to having a tiny, bright headed girl curled into my chest, breathing softly and making butterflies explode inside of me every time. Because it's suddenly gone, I'm left with nothing.

When Jeremy and Kat found out the news, they almost fell to the floor. They claimed it wasn't my fault, but I know it was and it is. I could almost hear Jeremy's heart shatter into the floor as I spoke those disgusting words to him; Hayley killed herself. At first he didn't believe it, but when he realized the hurt and truth behind my eyes, he broke. Hayley was like his little sister, and never in a million years would he even think to loose her the way he did. Even after everything we've all been through, none of us thought it would actually get her. Oh, but it did.

The whole story was all over the news for a while, and Paramore fans didn't know what to think. No one knows what to think. Hayley was the strongest person all of us knew, and now she is a memory. The reason I can't stand up straight and look out the window. Even Lily knows she's gone, and even though Lily and Hayley only got to know each other for a couple months, it affected Lily a lot.

Here I am, tangled in her sheets, torturing myself with Hayley's left behind things. I pull the sheets closer to me, and something falls off the bed. When I bring myself to sit up, I discover it to be my phone. I get up, out of the bed and reach down to pick it up, as I notice a box peaking out from under the bed. When I pull the wooden box completely out from under the bed, I notice the silver looking lock on it. Where would Hayley hide a key? She would put it somewhere where she wouldn't forget or loose it. A simple hiding spot. Under a matress, perhaps?