Step-Brothers

~Chapter Twenty-Nine~

"Mrs. Mell?" She looks up.

"Jared, right?" she's in tears. He nods and walks over to give her a sympathetic hug. Sam is sitting next to Michael, on the verge of tears. Jared could start crying right then and there but he doesn't. Mrs Mell sniffs.

"Do you know what happened?"

"No, not really. He didn't tell me." Jeremy and Evan wait outside the room, listening.

"Well, he- he was in the basement when I came home. And I just kept hearing him screaming and hitting things and I thought it was just part of his rut and - and eventually it got quiet. And then he comes running upstairs, stumbles into the kitchen a-and says to dial 911. And he's bleeding and I'm so confused and then I see... Then I see the bottle in his hand and I... " she's tearing up so bad.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." He tries to comfort her. Meanwhile, Jeremy is now back against the wall, sitting on the ground. The E D G E of crying.

"It was me. It was all because of me.. I did this a-and what if he doesn't wake up Evan???" Evans been through this before.

"He will. Jeremy, listen to me, he will. I promise, okay?"

"How do you know?? H-he could die and- and the last thing- oh god-"

"Jeremy, shut your mouth. Right now. Michael will. Be. Fine. He's at a hospital. He's in good hands."

"But people still die in hospitals Ev. I-I can't lose him. Not after what I did. I-I wouldn't- I couldn't live with that. That fucking guilt that I'M the one that made him want to do this."

"Don't say all that. Don't. He will be okay. You'll see. It'll be okay."

"But even if he makes it. He wouldn't b able to stand me. He won't be able to look at me.."

"Then why would he want you to know he was here in the first place? Wouldn't he just... Do it and not tell you?"

"I...... I don't know anymore..." he pulls his knees to his chest and hugs them tight, even if it hurts.

"... It'll all work out." Jared pokes his head out,

"Jeremy. You can come see him if you want. He's.. he's not awake yet." Jeremy nods and gets up. Taking a breath and walking in. Breaking down once he sees Michael. Mrs Mell stands to envelope Jeremy in a tight hug. He smells... Strange. Jeremy hugs her so tight. He's so scared and he knows it's all his fault.

"Jeremy, do you... Do you know why?" He nods into her shoulder. He takes a deep, shaky breath and part from her. Sitting in Sam's spot. Wheeling the chair closer and laying his forehead on the bed next to him.

"I'm so sorry Michael. I-I didn't want this to happen.... I didn't want any of this to happen... I'm so sorry.." Jeremy takes his limo hand in his own, squeezing it. Mrs Mell is so confused. She clutches Sam's arm, asking him in Filipino what on earth Jeremy means. Sam shrugs.

Jeremy skips school the next few days o be in the hospital with Michael. Waiting next to him until he wakes up. He hasn't eaten and frankly has only slept 2 hours in four days. Mrs Mell comes in twice a day (once before work and once after) and Sam is over once a day in the evenings. Mr Mell comes once. Jeremy is taken by surprise when he sees him.

"Uh, Mr. Mell..." he sounds tired and weak.

"Jeremy." He looks Michael's unconscious form over carefully. Jeremy isn't holding his hand now. Thank god for that. He's just sitting next to him. Hoping that he'd wake up soon. He's quiet while his dad is here. Mr Mell is quiet. He isn't there long. He seems to just be there to... Look at him. Watch him. Make sure he's breathing. Jeremy doesn't really like being around his dad. He feels like Mr. Mell doesn't like him. Never has. He's quiet until Mr. Mell leaves. After, he takes Michael's hand again and goes back to laying his head on the bed side next to Michael.

"You know I love you. So much. I.... I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you... I'd be fucked if I did...." Michael's hand twitches. Jeremy doesn't think anything of it. He squeezes his hand before letting go of it, not lifting his head.

"I don't think I could make it without you. You're the only person who's loved me like you do.. not even Rich could do that... no one can replace you Michael. No one in the entire world." There's a pause. Then another twitch.

"I love you so much.... I couldn't stand to lose you. To know that you tried to off yourself because of me...... I can't take that fucking guilt Michael... I love you too much to. I hate myself and I will hate myself everyday because of what I did..." Twitch. Twitch. Two this time. Jeremy lifts his head to look at him, his eyelids drooping lowly over his eyes. One more twitch. Then he's motionless again. There goes all of his hopes.

"I love you Michael, but just...." he sighs.

"If you don't make it...... I'm gonna come join you in Heaven... I will do what it takes to be with you.." The next morning, Mrs Mell comes in and gives Jeremy an exhausted, sad smile.

"Any news for me?" He shakes his head.

"Just more twitching....." She sighs and lets her smile drop, stepping over to Michael's side. She takes his hand.

"At least he isn't gone..." she sniffs.

"I couldn't lose my baby, I couldn't."

"I couldn't lose him either...... he means too much to me.." She looks at him.

"....You smelled strangely when he was brought in. Is everything okay between the two of you?"

"I....... I don't know.. we had gotten in a fight earlier that day..."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry... And during the poor boy's rut, you must have been terrified."

"Very....."

"Was... Was that why he did it then? An entire bottle of sleeping pills..."

"I hope not...." he takes Michaels other hand. The one in his mother's twitches. She sighs.

"I heard his father stopped by."

"Yeah..... he did.."

"Did he... Did he say anything? About Michael?"

"He didn't say anything at all..."

She nods. "I see." The hand in Jeremy's twitches and then slowly curls and uncurls, a soft squeeze. Jeremy furrows his eyebrows, looking down at his hand before to Michael's face. Michael's face is no longer peaceful. It's contorted into something pained, uncomfortable.

"Michael??"