Lessons Of A Quiet Girl

Comfort Zones are Dangerous

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was pretty, and strong, and independent, and she didn't think she really needed anyone. And just like Alice down the rabbit hole, she fell. Unlike Alice, she didn't fall into adventure. She fell into a comfort zone. She got engaged, she had a couple of kids, she got promoted at her job. Things became easy. And because things felt easy, she believed that they felt right.

So she stopped aspiring to do more, to be more, to grow. She fell into a comfy, cozy rut. And she stayed there, content.

I despise comfort zones. I never want to do that again. I want to achieve things, even if no one notices them but me and mine. I want to grow, I want to better myself, I want to be perfect for someone just the way I am without the need to grow and change. For someone who makes me uncomfortable enough to want to be better, to grow, to change. Who unknowingly inspires me to be the best version of myself.

I think that's a big part of why newly single women all do the same things. We cut or colour our hair, get piercings or tattoos, spend money we shouldn't be spending. To make us feel like we are different now that our relationship status has changed. I'm guilty of it. I coloured my hair just yesterday. Not to make me stand out, more to make me blend into the crowd. It's a ginger thing.

But now I am out of my comfort zone. I'm doing things I forgot that I wanted to do. I'm here, aren't I? I'm writing. I'm moving. I'm dying my hair. And it's terrifying. It really makes one question, "when did I become so afraid of life?" I used to face everything head on, with knots in my stomach, sure, but you don't achieve shit by accident. 

And it started so small. Stepping out of my comfort zone with food. I had to convince myself to not get the same sandwich when I went out. With routine travel. I had to question myself as to why I was taking the same roads I always take just to burn time, to be out of the house? Because it was comfortable. I was taking a comfortable route to comfortable location, just to make myself feel better about breaking out of my routine because it was a huge detour. Standing up for my basic rights, my right to privacy. A very big hurdle for me, I password protected my devices. And yes, it was needed, the fight that ensued proved that. Eventually I was secure enough that my passwords hadn't been hacked or guessed, I took up writing again. Something I haven't done in years, because my privacy was always at risk. I kept myself busy to distract myself from that fact.

Small things, sure. But when you are doing those small things after such a long time, they feel like giant steps. You feel like you've walked on the moon. Because who is comfortable on the moon? 

So step out of your comfort zones, challenge yourself. If you've forgotten how to, relearn how to dream, how to aspire to be more, find what you're passionate about, pursue it. Dream, aspire, achieve. Growth is amazing. Why be a shrub when you could be a freaking tree!