Lessons Of A Quiet Girl

The Pen

So, last night I 'helped' construct an outdoor pen. This isn't news, not really. I've done things like this many times in my life. My big contribution was mostly holding a light and passing staples. Not exactly anything to write home about.

Why I am writing about this is because of how different it was as an experience for me. Usually the people I work with these things on are far more experienced than I. It tends to make them impatient, they tend to forget that I am less knowledgeable in such areas. So usually I get yelled at, at some point. For holding the light wrong, for handing over vice grips instead of pliers, for handing over a staple for a staple gun instead of the fencing staples, confusing a 2 1/2 inch screw with a 3 inch screw. Those kinds of things.

But none of those things happened. I was totally expecting to get snapped at, at some point. The person I was working with was tired, he'd had a long weekend of pretty much non-stop activities and still found the time to construct this. I was expecting to be snapped at, but it was still better to go into than not helping at all.

And do you know what?

I didn't feel useless, ever. Not really. Sure, did I feel like there was more I could have done? Yeah. But the fact that I knew what materials he was talking about actually were, the only mild surprise that crossed his face that I actually knew these things, it was a good feeling. I actually didn't feel completely clueless. I mean, I know I'm not; but sometimes people inadvertently make us feel that way. It was really refreshing to not be looked at like some girl who knew too much, or who shouldn't know these things. 

Just to clarify for those who may take that the wrong way, it's never right for anyone to make you feel like you know too much, or that you shouldn't possess that kind of knowledge, no matter what walk of life you are from. They shouldn't look at you funny for knowing about hairstyling or make up because you're a man. They shouldn't look at you funny for knowing about power tools or cars because you're a woman. But it doesn't make it any less refreshing when someone actually doesn't.

I didn't feel useless. I didn't feel clueless. I felt... human. Possibly for the first time in far too long.

I felt whole; comfortable in that aspect, just for having the knowledge that I had. 

And it was weird. In a good way.