Lessons Of A Quiet Girl

I'd Rather Stay In, Thanks.

"No, thank you. I'd rather stay in." I suppose people find that some of us say this too often. It doesn't really matter how you say it, a lot of the time people will find a way to take it personally. The truth is, I'd rather just stay in. It's nothing against you, it's not personal. I just know that I don't like certain things.  I like hanging out with my friends, and I love to do many things with them. Is it necessary to try to guilt me or shame me into going out to do something I don't enjoy?

I'd rather spend time with friends and family interacting in a more intimate setting, doing more personal things. Having laughs and good times and making memories more specific to you. I'm more likely to go to group outings with people I know more personally. It's just more comfortable, it doesn't feel so much like being scrutinized constantly, like I'm under a microscope. Trust me, you'll have more fun without me, because if I go, you're going to spend too much of your night trying to get me to 'let loose'.

Also, nearly every group outing I'm guilted or shamed into going to, I always leave people disappointed. Yes, you have gotten to know me on a personal level, and I am comfortable being my lame ass self with you. Sorry, not sorry. I'm not sorry that I've become comfortable with you, and I'm also not sorry that I'm shy by nature. People know this when they meet me, and a lot of the time mention at some point how much I've come out of my shell. And yet, they are still surprised that I am a shy person when we go out in a more public setting. 

Someone wanting to stay in may have very little to do with you, it has more to do with them. You have to trust that they know better what they are and are not comfortable with. They live in their own heads, in their own lives. You don't. Plain and simple. That may sound crass, but it's just a statement of fact. Some people do well on their own, others in groups, and still other do well in both. And that is just fine. It's totally normal, even if it's not how you live. It doesn't make it wrong. 

There are drawbacks to it, as well. For instance, getting bored. It does happen, and when it does, you want to try something new or different. But you've already isolated yourself in the past, so people don't see you as fun as they had in the past. When you were younger, or more carefree, or just had more free time; when you were less stressed out. It's a double standard like no other, I find.

Sometimes it's important to make that distinction. Some people like to go out, in a very small group. Sometimes just as a couple of friends. It can be very difficult, especially as a people pleaser, because you can have such an eclectic variety of friends; you may want to spend a lot of time with all of your close friends, but they just don't get along. It can make you feel like a drag, because people need to vent rather than letting things all build up, and a lot of the times, they'll vent to you, about your other friends.

Maybe that can offer up some insight to some more outgoing people. But it's personally why I would rather just stay in, sometimes. I know I am not the only one.