Lessons Of A Quiet Girl

Touchy Feely

Touch everyone. Not in that superficial, physical manner. That's just creepy, don't be that person.

What I am suggesting here, is that you try to make an impact, no matter how small, that sticks with people. I hope I make an impact on many peoples lives, even if they don't remember a lot about me, like my name or my face. I'm cool with that. Really, really cool with it. I'd rather be remembered as that person who helped lift someones spirits on a day that had been going badly. Like a comedian, but I'm not funny enough for that.

I've spent a lot of time working in customer service, worked all different hours. Regardless of when or where I would work, I've had people frequently ask me how I can be so chipper. Most commonly used word. Sure, some people use less specific words, such as happy or upbeat. The truth is, I've got a good life. Sure, it's not perfect, it's far from it, and honestly it never will be perfect. For every person who asks me how I can be so upbeat and chipper, I've got someone telling me that I'm not happy enough. These people can literally be back to back. 

I never want to be that person who puts some complete stranger, in a foul mood. I don't want to look or sound horribly depressed, even if I am, because whoever I have to talk to next, they're going to notice that. It could affect their entire day. It's become such a force of habit, that I don't even think about it. Only my really, incredibly close friends get to see me at my worst, when I can't hold it together anymore. How can I always be so chipper? I ask myself a simple question. 'Would I want to talk to/be served by/approach me?' It's not as easy as it sounds, obviously. There have been those times when I'll be talking to someone, and I'm having a really, really crap day. But I'll be that girl with the kind, forced smile with tears barely kept in her eyes. Because our encounter isn't about me in my mind.  It's about whomever I am interacting with. Now don't go twisting this around, it's not about what they think about me that I care about, it's how they are going to feel when they walk away. That's what I want to leave an impression on.

My favourite customers ever have got to be these two college girls. They went to the local college, just down the street; they weren't regular customers by any means, they would only come through on their way to or from their travels back home between semesters or for summer vacation. Each time that I would serve them when they came through our drive through, their car packed up with boxes and bags, they would always gawk and whisper to each other for a moment before taking their order, and would always mention how they thought I looked like Nicole Kidman. This will always stick with me, because I think Nicole Kidman is beautiful. The shape of her face, her smile, the way her eyes light up. They had no way of knowing that.

I couldn't point these two girls out in a crowd, or even a police line up. Because I don't remember what they look like. I remember how good it made me feel, each time they would say it. I'll never forget it, not ever. 

You have an opportunity, with every person you come across, to make an impact in their lives, no matter how miniscule it may seem to you. Saying that kind word, a simple good morning, a smile. It's all relevant.

I remember being a little girl, being so unfiltered sometimes. If I thought someone was pretty, I'd tell them. "Wow, you are really pretty." The positive would just flow out of my face without thinking. I have to wonder sometimes if those people are still around, if they still remember that little girl. I know that I remember the one who said it to me, and all the nostalgia it brought with it, how heartwarming. That's the funny thing about kids. They don't just stop a stranger to tell them that they look pretty to make them feel better. They say it because they believe it, and they want you to know, too. It's remarkable.

There are a lot of people who don't like me and the impressions that I've left on them, because I'm pretty blunt. Not in a rude way, at least, I don't think so. I sugar coat the truth, make the words sound better, but I do it without lying. I'm not going to go around telling people "No, Linda, I don't like that sweater, I think it makes you look fat" I'll definitely sugar coat that shit. "You know, Linda, I'm not sure this sweater highlights your best features, maybe we can look for something a bit more flattering and bring out your best assets."

We live in a world that is filled with too much cruelty, in my opinion. We have had things in the recent past like "Giraffe neck", "Resting Bitch Face", this time around it's how people look like "potatoes (??)". Why? Why are we so busy tearing each other down instead of building them up? Why are we doing it to ourselves? I know, I know, it starts out as a joke. But eventually, people stop using it as a joke, and it becomes a petty jab, it becomes an insult.

In this world filling day by day with negativity, we should strive to be that person who leaves a positive impact on someone else. And it's hard, because at first you just want to start small, leave that compliment with them and be on your way. Mumbling something like "nice shirt" as you're passing by. If this person is insecure as it is, they're going to spend the next while trying to figure out if you were being sincere or sarcastic. If they are really insecure, they'll likely side with sarcastic.

It can be something so small, even in a joking manner, that makes someone feel good. A warm smile and "Hey there, young fella" directed at an older man. "Good morning, beautiful" to almost any woman (beware the vain). Something as small as "Nice shirt", you can elaborate on that, ensure them that you in fact like their choice in shirt today "That dark blue really highlights your eyes/hair/complexion".

Touch people. Leave a lasting impression, not a scar. We see people all the time that suffer with things like depression, insecurity, and social anxiety; likely because so many people are out there tearing each other down. Aim to build someone up. You don't have to know them. Just do something that will leave them with a positive memory. You never know, it could be the one thing that brings them out of a really dark day.