Lessons Of A Quiet Girl

It's Not Easy Bein' Green

I have been called many things in my life. Good things, bad things. Let's not get into the details. My point here is that the thing I've been called that boggles me the most has always been chameleon. I've always found it to be kind of demeaning. But I was thinking about this today while talking with someone I've become quite close with recently.

Anyways, as I'm talking with him, as we're making plans, it hits me.

Being a chameleon doesn't necessarily mean that you are changing who you are to blend in with those around you. It means that the people you are around, are making you aware of how comfortable you are around them in aspects that you aren't nearly as comfortable with around other people. Those parts of you that you are made to feel ashamed of, they are melting away. It means finding people that make you comfortable being your lame, geeky, nerdy, clingy, flirtatious, shy, quiet, obnoxious self around. People who make you feel comfortable to be certain aspects of you without being judged as others have judged you. 

Athletes may mock your artistic side. Bookworms may mock your love of video games. Extroverts may not understand so easily why you like to stay home, by yourself. It's really no different than how a dog person may not understand how someone else can be a cat person. 

It can simply mean that you are dynamic. At least, that's what it means for me. I'm not blending into those around me. A side of me that you may not have seen before, or may not have noticed, is coming to light. 

I find myself breaking out of my comfort zones slowly, steadily. And you know what? It's not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. It's not like trying to face the world alone. It's not as scary as that.

So here's what everyone has been missing, myself included. I love being busy, just as much as I love not being busy. I like having companionship, just as much as I love being alone. I like to make plans, I like to dream. I like to daydream. I like to be optimistic and to have hopes for the future. But I also like to keep these things to myself, because so many times I've been judged or someone has felt the need to "bring me back down to reality" because my "feet should be on the ground." I've heard it many times in many ways. And do you know what? My feet are on the ground, and my head has always belonged in the clouds.

It's not easy bein' green. And when you're a 'chameleon', it's not easy being any other colour either.

I'm not blending, you've only ever just chosen to accept one side of me, so it's all you've ever seen. I'm just more dynamic than you could have handled before.