The Entry To Hell

Another chapter- OREO

aha, I'm back, these chapters are more for me to rant, so if anyone reads this, please feel free not to read as if you do decide to proceed, you'll be faced with cringe ass shit that is generically said very commonly, but in a more twisted way of words as I do have a heard time explaining and trying to detail everything I feel.
I usually get frustrated when I try to really talk about how I feel, so this chapter will be more of a matter of all or nothing, meaning, I'll probably write things that I only mean in a little way, without fully describing how I feel.
Lol ok sorry I'll try to start now, bear with me.
Also, chicken, if you'd like, don't edit any of these chapters, nut do feel free to delete them :) 

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I currently lay in my bed, blanket pathetically covering my body, using any disclosure of warmth, yet irritated by the blankets movement, making it harder to type. The bed smells of deep heat, the aches and pains still prominent in my bio, my cat laying next to me, frequently yet occasionally licking my arm with her prickly tongue.

Pain.

Well, thanks cat. You would second guess how a cats tongue could cause pain. Dry. Prickly. Sharp. Quick.
A stinging sensation that reminds me of something else, oops.

After a few more licks, she's now asleep, purring away in what I hope are her sweet dreams.

I suspect she was abused in her previous home.
We share that in common.

She now rests her paw on my wrist, as my arm is tilted up, typing away on the device.
She quickly twitches, her short and recently cut nails slightly impaling my skin, only enough to leave a small dent which will disappear soon.

She twitches further more. I wonder what she dreams about. I hope she isn't in any pain, I hope she's as comfortable as we can make her.

You're probably wondering what this has to do with cheesecake. In all honesty, I don't know, I'm recalling sudden events, and I'll continue writing and lead. :)

Her twitches are calm now. She's back to purring. As I type this, my arm rocks up and down ever so slightly, her nails gnaw at the skin of my wrist, as she subtly tells me she's annoyed with my moving.

She causes pain. Physical pain.

Cringe shit ahead :)))

See, my oh so worthy philosophy on pain, is one that all physical harms can heal, and will, with the right help and care. Now, it is general, but I'm stupid so hey.

When I first entered High school, I was not only going through physical pain of doing sports and whatever fitness I did, I was also inflicting physical pain on myself, deliberately , not even for a valid reason.

Yes, I've brought this up a lot the last two chapters, but all I want to claim will come soon with my elaborate shít writing.

He's my healing.

I was, frankly, and very cringe-ly, scared of love. Heck, I still am, but past Oreo didn't realise what was to come.

I was scared of form. Of attachment. Of commitment. Scared of unrequited love. Scared of anything really. My severe fear of rejection has caused so much negative.
Yes, everyone is essentially scared of rejection, but I can't explain my fear.
I reached a low point in my short life where I was contemplating my last breath. I had relapsed so many times over the same, common thing. I had caused long-term issues on both my mentality and physicality because of rejection.