No no no . I thought to myself . I was freaking the fuck out . I was definitely not telling her . out of all people . I mean .. maybe I could . she is my favorite teacher but ... what will she say . what if I say yes and she asks me why . when id be forced to tell her about .. him . and no . no I cant .
I kept a blank face but I knew my hands were shaking so I stuffed them in my pockets before slowly shaking my head . "no" I answered quietly . I avoided eye contact at all costs . i tried to calm myself as much as possible . I could feel her eyes on me but I didn't dare look up .
"liam" she paused as if trying to choose her words carefully . I just shook my head .
"can I go now I don't want to be home to late" and just as I said that I was up and ready to leave . I was about to leave but she stood up .
"liam I really think we should talk about this . maybe you should stay after tomorrow and we could talk about this I can h-" but I cut her off . I don't know why but I just got so angry . she was treating me like some child . I know I needed it I know ! she was just going to cause me more trouble . I turned around and tried not to glare .
"I don't need help and I don't need to talk to anyone . im not fucking crazy and no I don't cut ok so can I just leave now" I snapped . I didn't even wait for her answer I got out of there as fast as possible . I quickly walked out of the school and made my way home . I slowed down not wanting to be home just yet . maybe I could walk around all day . its not like mom would be home and j would definitely not be home and I definitely am NOT going home to him . I walked to the park and sat under a tree . it was a nice tree . not to sound weird but it was it was really big and it seemed to have the greenest leaves compared to all the other trees . weird observation but I don't know it seems relaxing . I sat there for a while staring at nothing in particular until I almost had a heart attack when I heard someone come near me .
"liam ? hey what are you doing here" he asked . it was zany of course it was it always was . he was the only one who talked to me that didn't insult me .. well at least I don't think he did . I tensed up and looked up at him . of course I didn't answer I just looked up at him through my lashes to shy to even make eye contact . he sighed and sat down but I scooted away leaving enough space between us to fit 4 other people .
He stared at me for a while . he just sat there legs spread out and him leaning against his arms . zany was a weird kid . he was attractive .. actually scratch that he was practically a god . obviously I didn't say that . but he was weird because you would expect someone like him to be popular but he was the opposite . yeah he talked to people lots but he wasn't popular . people teased him because he wasn't that smart . also he hung out with what people call "the rejects" . he was a really nice person with a weird personality . I guess I was staring because then he blushed a bit before looking away .
"is there something on my face because if there is that would be ... embarrassing" he said and I almost chuckled almost . he tried to see if there was anything actually on his face by 'discreetly' wiping at his face . that time I couldn't help but let a tiny smile slip as I shook my head at him . he sighed in relief .
"great" he said before sitting with his legs crossed and faced me . he propped his elbows on his knees and rested his chin in the palm of his hand .
"so what are you doing here at the park all alone ?" he asked . I just gave him a blank stare before looking away .
"oh I see . not talking huh" he said laughing slightly . I thought he would beat me like chris did when I didn't answer him but he didn't he just shrugged .
"ok well I'll talk for you" he said before sitting up straight and pretending to crack his neck and knuckles . "so liam whats up" he asked and turned sideways before answering in what I assume he thought was what I sounded like "great and you ?" he responded to himself . that went on for I don't even know how long . zany was weird . really weird .. but there was just something about him that made me feel . I don't know .. safe ? no that sounds so weird . I don't know I guess I feel comfortable around him . hes chilled and doesn't seem to care about anything .
"you can stop now" I said so quietly im surprised he heard me . he chuckled .
"good people were starting to look at me weird " he replied before looking around and scooting a little closer . I tensed but there was still a bit room left between us .
"you still didn't answer me " he asked again .
"just ... don't want to go h- to my house" I almost called that place home . that's not home . that's far from a home . that's nothing but hell . I took a quick peek at him and saw his face soften . great hes going to pity me .
"well this is the perfect place to come too . you don't mind if I hang around with you right ?" he asked and I just shrugged . its not like I could say no . and even if I could I wouldn't want to . he sort of made me forget about thing , ya know?
I don't even know how long we stayed out there but by the time I noticed it was already dark . zany talked pretty much the whole time . I only responded with nods or yes , no , and maybes . I was walking when zany suddenly spoke up .
"well it was great hanging out with you liam . your pretty cool ya know . maybe one day you'll feel comfortable enough to talk more . see ya around" he said before leaving the park . I let out a long sigh . that was probably the first time in a long time that ive actually talked to someone besides my English teacher . it felt kind of .. nice . maybe I could talk to zany more .. baby steps liam baby steps . I quickly got home and walked in . no surprise that mom and j weren't home . I tried to be as quiet as possible as I walked upstairs . just as I was about to close my room door he pushed me in .
I quickly scrambled off the floor and looked up at him . he was smirking at me . he bent down to my level but I quickly backed up . no no cant he see that I didn't want this . I shook my head but he just got closer . he pulled me by my shirt and pulled me against him . I gasped about to scream but he put his hand over my mouth . I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes and I stared into his cold hard brown eyes .
"shut up I don't want people hearing us " he said before lifting me by my shirt still clamping a hand down over my mouth . he threw me on the bed making me hit my head on the wall before he crawled on top of me I thrashed and pushed but he wasn't budging by then I was sobbing . his hand still over my muffled sobs . I know he had done this so many times before but this time he was even more aggressive . I guess since no one was home . I managed to punch him but that was a big mistake .
He chuckled darkly before slapping me so hard I could taste the metallic taste of my blood in my mouth . I screamed but my voice was hoarse and it came out as a painful whisper . I screamed and screamed as he got more angry and frustrated throwing punch after punch to my stomach , sides and he even punched me once in the face . I was crying so hard trying desperately to scream so someone could hear .. but no one could . he left me there not even doing what he first intended on doing .
"you such a pathetic kid you know that?" he said before leaving me there in my dark room chocking on my own sobs . I eventually calmed down to just sniffles but that didn't stop the pain from exploding throughout my body . hes right .
I am pathetic
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Oblivion
FanfictionNo one know what's happening at home to Liam. No one sees how much he hates himself. No one sees how friendless and alone he really is. Until zayn comes along. Will he help Liam get better and feel good about himself? Or will he only make things wo...