Oblivion

Chapter 21-invitation declined

ALEJEKBSOWHSOSHKS

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"What day is it" I ask as we're all sitting in the middle of the football field once again. Me and niall beside each other and the rest in front.

"I don't know Wednesday .. Thursday" niall shrugs.

"It's Thursday" harry happily informs. I nod.

I managed to hide the love bites today by wearing a sweatshirt-even though it's hot. Last night when I got home dad seemed pretty satisfied though. I cringe at the thought and shake those thoughts from my head.

"We'll we've got to go, see you lads" louis says getting up with harry, him waving to each of us before they walk away.

Now it's kind of awkward in a way. I don't really care. I put all those stupid emotions behind me and relax.

"So Perrie invited me to her party on Friday" zayn starts but I show no interest. "Maybe we should go" he nudges my foot with his. I just shake my head.

"If Liam's not going then Im not going" niall says after I say no. zayn gives him a look before turning back to me.

"C'mon Liam it'll be fun" he encourages but once again I shake my head. "C'mon Liam" he whines.

"No zayn jeez I don't like parties and I don't want to go" I say annoyed with the Fact that he can't seem to understand that I'm not a party person.

"Leave him z" niall says after he sees that zayn is about to say something. He huffs and gets up not even saying goodbye, just leaving.

Niall turns to me "so if you don't want to go I can ask harry and Lou if they want to hang out" he suggest but I just shrug. I don't really feel like doing anything, well it's not like I would do anything anyways. I prefer to just stay somewhere quiet and calm. Although at times that's the complete opposite of what I want. I don't know what's wrong with me.

"Liam" he says catching my attention. He's sitting in front of me now and he's looking down swaying back and forth a bit. He looks nervous as he brings his hand up and bites his nails. "Um I'm sorry for like .. Kissing you on the cheek the other day.. It was-it sort of slipped I guess" he shrugs not looking me in the eye.

"It's ok niall" I say putting an arm around his shoulders. He leans into my side and we sit there for a while. In a way it's kind of nice. Nialls a good person. He could help with me forgetting. He makes me forget at times about zayn. But I can't us him like that, that would be worse. I mean were friends but at the same time .. I don't know what I feel.

I'm so messed up I'm not even sure if I'm happy or if I'm just telling myself I am. I've been feeding myself these lies and at some points I'm not sure if I actually am happy or not. It's a bit scary. I know I need help but .. It's harder than you think. It takes a lot to admit something is wrong and I'm not sure I can do that. I know it but I can't say it. I'm not brave enough to get help which is stupid but it's the truth.

So for now I guess sitting here with niall is the best thing. It's best because for a minute I forgot everything. I forgot all my problems and worries and I found comfort In his friendship- maybe even more. It weird to think like this but I'm not sure what to think. So I guess I'll just sit here and wait until I figure it out.

It'll all work out hopefully

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[this chapter sucks and it's short I'm so sorry I suck and KABSKSBIS I feel bad please don't kill me.]