Oblivion

Chapter 13-"no im not.."

Last night when he dragged me into the house it was empty .. Fucking empty . Jessica must've been with her boyfriend and mom was probably on another 'business trip'. You have no idea how terrified I was . as soon as we got inside he had slammed me into the nearest wall . "who was that Liam ? one of your little friend's hm" he spoke in a cold voice and all I could do was whimper in fear of what was to come next . he had thrown me onto the couch .. then he continued taking his clothes and mine off . all I was thinking in my mind as he pushed my face into the couch to muffle my screams was "someone save me" but that only happens in movies .. and sadly I'm forced to live in reality .

when he was done with me he left the house . I'm sure he came back at some point I just wasn't paying attention . I had crawled to my room and waited and waited and waited for Jessica .. but she never came . what about the promise ? she was supposed to be there but I guess its ok . she has friends and she doesn't need to be around me all the time . I won't get in her way and I certainly won't tell her what happened . he didn't hit me as much this time . at least not in the face . I hope she doesn't notice .

"Liam I'm sorry I wasn't home last night I was out with tom I should have texted you and I sh-" she was ranting on and on as we made our way to school . I just waved her off saying it was ok . but it wasn't and I don't think it ever will be . I could tell she still felt a little guilty but hopefully she'll forget about that today . we parted ways and I made my way to class since I wouldn't really need anything for my classes today .

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It seems like lately these days school has been nothing but boring and stressful . it was lunch time and I was making my way to a table in the back . I never sat with anyone or I usually was outside I honestly don't know what I'm doing here anyways . as I was making my way to a table I felt someone grab my arm . I stiffened and ripped arm out of the persons grip turning around to be met with zayn .

"d-don't touch m-me" I whispered wrapping my arms around myself with wide eyes . I could already feel the bile making its way up my throat especially with the events of last night . oh my god I need to leave .

"I'm sorry i forgot" he says but I don't have time for this . I make my way out of the cafeteria and to the bathrooms as soon as possible . I barely make it to the bathroom before I'm throwing up into the trashcan . at least I didn't throw up on him . that would've been worse . sighing shakily I turn and scream just now noticing zayn behind me .

he looks like he's about to say something but I move around him quickly rinsing out my mouth . I grimace at the after taste in my mouth .

"Liam did-do you .." he trails off giving me these big sad eyes . I just look at him in confusion until it hits me . my mouth makes an 'o' shape and I quickly shake my head . feeling slightly dizzy I clear my throat .

"no I'm not .. that wasn't .. I'm not" I say quickly trying to explain to him that I didn't make myself throw up on purpose . "I didn't do that on purpose zayn" I give him a crazy look before walking out of the bathroom making sure not to touch him .

He lets out a sigh of relief "okay cool" he follows me out . "so I was wondering if you wanted to sit with us , I mean me and my friends " he says pointing to a table where I see 3 other people sitting . I look back at him feeling incredibly nervous all of a sudden . I've always been so closed off I can't just walk up to someone and be friends . plus I'm awkward and well .. me .

"come on I promise they don't bite" he chuckles and walks over to the table . sighing I hesitantly walk over to their table . this isn't so bad right ? they look up when they notice I'm standing there . okay yes this is bad .

"hi I'm niall" the blonde one speaks up first . he has blue eyes and blonde hair . although you can tell it's dyed from the brunette starting to show . also I noticed the Irish accent . he seems nice but I can't let myself get too attached . he wears a wide smile and makes a move to hug me but I flinch away . he looks hurt but hides it with a smile .

"s-sorry" I say quietly looking down awkwardly . great my first shot at real friends and I'm already failing miserably . zayn pats the chair next to him and I sit stiffly in the chair .

"it's alright mate" one of the others speaks . he has light brown hair and also has blue eyes . his light brown hair is styled upwards a bit in a slight quiff . I couldn't help but notice the other boy sitting beside him with his arm wrapped around his waist . he had curly hair and green eyes . though he wasn't paying any attention to anyone other than the blue eyed boy next to him . love and adoration clear in his eyes . I sighed they looked so in love .

"I'm Louis and this is harry" he says leaning into the curly haired boy . I can't help the small smile making its way onto my face .

"i-I'm Liam" I say softly . I just want to punch myself right now . zayn puts his hand on my knee and I can't help but to freeze in place .

"Liam are you ok ?" niall asks but suddenly I'm not feeling ok . all I can do is sit there . I can feel the tears stinging my eyes . why do I feel like crying ? I'm not sad I'm just .. scared . I can feel my breaths coming in short gasps . I can feel my hands start to shake . I feel sweaty and anxious .

"Liam I'm sorry I forgot i-I'm sorry" I can faintly hear zayn but all I can do it sit there mouth slightly ajar and body trembling . I need to leave . get the fuck up Liam I keep repeating but I can't move . I feel like I could pass out .

"Liam Liam its ok you're ok" I could feel myself being pulled out of my chair but my body keeps shaking and I just feel so .. I don't know .

It feels like seconds later I'm finally able to breathe and think and move on my own . only I can't move because someone holding me . wait someone's holding me ?! I squirm in their tight hold until they let me go and I scramble as far away from them as possible . wait where am I . I look around and see I'm in the hallway with niall,, Louis, harry and zayn all looking at me .

"i... I'm sorry" I rush out before standing and running down the hall . I stop around the corner and close my eyes . I can feel the tears stinging my eyes again . why am I so stupid ?! why can't I do anything right . I grab fistfuls of my hair feeling angry with myself for being so weak .

"Liam stop you're going to hurt yourself" oh if only he knew . I look up at zayn with watery eyes .. maybe he does care . maybe it's okay . maybe it'll be okay . I can't help but start to cry harder as he looks at me like that .

I launch forward wrapping my arms around him and holding him tightly . he hugs back and I can't help but feel a little better . I can't help but sob harder as I feel his warm embrace tighten around me . I can't help but feel safer, warmer and better .

Maybe it will be okay

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[ i hope this doesn't suck to much but yay ziam hug . I have my last exam tomorrow so hopefully I'll have more time to upload . Sigh . Let me know what you think so far . It's not to bad is it ? ]