a/n: kind of taken from my own experiences lmao so I'm just indirectly writing about someone I guess? Sorry if it's heartbreaking, I was heartbroken. • if you think it's about you, it probably is
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There are times when I miss you.
Okay, I lied. I miss you all the time.
I miss you so bad that I can feel dread spread out through my entire body, starting with my gut. It's like an infection that takes me over in less than three seconds. Only this infection doesn't have hopes of a cure.
I think of all the times where we talked like people that have known each other for years, or their whole life even, when we only knew of each other for a month. Our conversations kept us up into the AM and then when the next morning, when I had to wake up, I didn't regret my lack of sleep. Our conversations were like a music piece being played out by the best orchestra or chorus or band. They were smooth, enjoyable, beautiful.
It was so easy to talk to you and I loved to. You never failed to put a smile on my face with one of your stupid little jokes or weird behavior. You were probably one of the most wonderful people I could come across in my life. You probably still are.
But I don't know what happened that caused us to split apart just as easily as we used to talk. Everything became awkward and the atmosphere tense, it was like you were a stranger that I had just met and we didn't have the best first impression.
Now looking back on it, it was probably my fault. Maybe I got to clingy or I dived in to fast and too deep. See, that's the problem with me. I feel to deeply. I probably scared you off, and I apologize for that. I didn't mean to.
I was the first one to say goodbye because I couldn't handle anymore heartbreak from what our friendship had become. You're better off without me, you know? At the time of saying goodbye, I thought it was good for me, but it was good for you too.
I'm happy that you don't need me in your life because someday, I'll realize that I don't need you.
Alright, I lied again. I'm not happy. But I will be one day.
There's this quote that I think describes you in some way. It goes like this: Some people come into your life as blessings, others as lessons.
I believe that you were both a blessing and a lesson.
So, thank you, Camila. Thank you for leaving me on read.
