Standing on my own Sequel To A New Life CSI MIAMI fanfic

32.

Andre went to bed earlier, because she was still very tired and the baby apparently needed her. Courtney helped her with Jamie. Then we talked for a while and went to bed. Friday morning we woke up late. The previous evening was hard as we had a bottle of wine Alex brought from the cellar, and then the whiskey..I also heard the baby crying at night.
In the morning Alex went to work and Courtney on her therapy. I was making some coffee in the kitchen when Andre came.
"Will you make one for me?" She asked
"Yeah, sure...but aren't yoy breastfeeding or something?"
"Oh fuck it...Jamie's on the infant milk so one coffee won't kill me"
We sat on the terrace.
"Andre I'm not too good in that but...thank you".
"For what?"
"For yesterday. You made it easier. Much easier for me."
"No problem, Tim. I see there's more than just love between you, also a bond. She needs to belong somewhere and so do you. What about your brother, does he know?"
"That I'm proposing- yes. That she he said yes- not yet. "
"Why?"
"We're together closer for a very short time. He came to Miami and stays and works there now....we're getting to know each other."
"I'd like to meet him one day"
"When it will be possible I hope you"ll like him".
"Do you?"
"Yeah..."I brushed my hand thru my hair." He's ok. We never had a close relation as he's 13 yrs junior. He's also trying to fix his life, got involved with somebody we both like. I hope we can be close one day. Actually I don't know why I'm telling you that...
I'm not a lotta-talking guy".
"I see. I have to tell you something, actually, just between you and me."
"I'm all ears" I said nervously
"When she started talking all about you and mentioned that you're from New York, I began to dig a little. I found the information about your scientific career at school, and Columbia success. Then I found the missing persons' announcement, then the info about your graduation two years later, and finally about your death. It's amazing you're still alive. Like a story from a
sci-fi movie. You don't seem real actually. And then I wanted to meet your parents- people whose son gained such huge success, suffered great loss, went missing and was found, worked as a specialist before got shot in the line of duty... I met your father and mother a week ago at a charity event. We attend  a lot of them. Your mother was organizing it actually, and your father was a head caterer. I wanted to ask about how they feel with your miraculous resurrection...But Before that, Courtney told me that they don't know... "
"You wanna ask why I think...".
"No. I understand you. Your father is a real dick, and your mother never mentioned having two sons...Even then I was pregnant and everyone was talking about their children actually... And the event was for abandoned children... so I was so cheeky, and asked James Speedle about his children. You know what he said?"
"I suppose he said he's only got one and that one also failed him".
"No. He said that it's good , that he's glad that his sons are no  longer present in his life. They didn't deserve to be privileged".
I hung my head. I actually didn't expect it to be that bad. She saw it immediately. "I'm not telling you that to hurt you, Tim. I'm telling you that because I truly admire you, that having such parents you managed to be caring and loyal, honest and protective. That's why I'd like to meet your brother. You both need positive feedback."
"Thank you". I said quietly. "But now you see why I"m afraid to be..."
"...a father? Yes. I do. But I see you with kids one day. Courtney was hurt in her life, too. But she has lots of love inside her heart and she's very compassionate. You'll be a good father one day".
I heard the cooing from the next room
"Holy crap...the monster's up". She smiled and sighed.
"Let me bring him to you. I won't hurt him, I promise."
"Sure. I'll finish the coffee before it gets cold. "
I entered the room and found the baby laying in bed. He looked at me and stopped crying. I put a soother into his mouth and put him up gently. I felt his warmth on my hands.
"Jamie, I won't hurt you, u know?
I told him." I'm more afraid than you"
He was observing me, moving his arms, but stopped crying. I came with him into the room and saw Andre sleeping on the couch I left her like that.
"Well...looks like I'm the only one who you can count on..."
I put him into the stroller and took the box. Right...put 3 spoons into a bottle and pour 200 ml of warm water...shake...ready.
The baby was watching me carefully, as if knew that when he starts crying, he won't get his food. I took him gently out of the pram and sat on the chair. He started eating rapidly and after 80 ml... he was asleep again.
I remembered about putting him up and letting the burp out- Discovery channel always helps. Then I put him again into his pram on one of the sides and sat down, deadly tired. Not with the activity, but with the responsibility.
"You see?" I heard Andre's voice.
I turned around and saw her bending over the pram. "You did great. I'm not sure if Jamie's dad would do that so precisely".
"You're a monster Andre...you were awake?"
"All the time...I couldn't let you hurt my son, so been watching you ;) " she laughed." I guess you're more ready than you think"
"Don't tell her that, please. Not just yet. "
"I won't. I think you both need some time to cherish each other, and then decide whether you want to share it with a baby."
"Thank you". I said. "Does this also mean you won't tell my parents about me? "
"Of course not. But your brother is visiting us tomorrow evening, ok?With his girl... What's her name?"
"Cal. Calleigh".
"Beautiful name. So it's settled. Now... I need to wash and dress"
"I'll talk to Harry about tomorrow then."
When I reached Brian's house he opened the door.
"Oh my...you're really alike."
"Thanks Brian. Is Harry.."
"..no. He went to see your... his parents. And Cal is shopping.But you can wait if you want. I'm leaving cause I start working in 20 mins."
He left and I got asleep on the couch. The swing of door woke me up. Harry stormed into the kitchen without noticing me there. He poured some gin into the glass and drank it with one sip.When he turned around I saw his sore eyes and redness on the cheek. That moment he saw me there.
"Oh...you..."
"Harry, what happened" I got up and took some ice from the fridge.
"Here you are.. " He put it close to his cheek.
"He smashed me, would you believe?"
"I would" I thought."Been in the same place many times before. Why?"
"He told me I'm not his son anymore and asked me to leave. Otherwise he'll call the police to help him. That they will know how to cope with me".
"And?"
"And I asked how it is, that his son - a police officer- wasn't so appreciated by him all his life? And I said that..."
"...go on..."
"...that they never deserved to have you. And it's better to talk about love for stranger's kids than love their own."
"And?"
"He slapped me".
The moment I decided. The anger fulfilled me. I left the flat hearing "TIM! TIM! Wait!!!!"
I went back to Alex' house to take my bag. I attached my badge and  and put my sidearms into the holster.
When I arrived in front of the familiar door, I hestitated for a second. Just a second. Then knocked.
The door opened after a while with a swung and the woman said " I hope you came back to apologize to your fath..." And she looked up. My mother looked up.
I saw a shock on her face.
"I'm looking for James Speedle"   I said loudly and formal.
She was speechless. Stood there not moving... not breathing.
Then I heard the steps.
"What the hell is goin..." And also the shocked look when he understood who's he talking too.
"James Speedle, by the law given to my by the State of Florida,  I'm warning you- if you EVER touch your son, Harry, again, I will charge you for assault. Actually even for abuse- physical and mental, during all my fucking childhood... During my studies, time of grief... And you, Mary Speedle will be a partner in that crime. For letting him do all this to your sons. YOUR CHILDREN!!!" I yelled. I felt blood pumping in my veins. The noise of it in my ears.
She kinda shrank with disbelief He just stood there.
"If you ever, even once, dare to call youselves parents, you will be charged- I swear to God whom I DON'T actually BELIEVE!"
He became pale on his face, like before a heart attack. I didn't feel any pity. She put out her hand and said
"Timothy..."
"I'm not Timothy! All the people who love me, support me an care for me call me Tim or Speed. Don't you dare call my name again."  I turned around and walked away for good. Started running after a while, until I reached Brian's house.
"Tim?" Harry said watching my pale face wet with tears. " What did you do?You ok?"
"Harry... Call the ambulance. I guess I'm having a cardiac arrest."
Then I just passed out.