Full Of Love

Dark

Pete writes a surprisingly dark song, but why? (578 words)

"Dark," I told him, shaking my head as I read over the lyrics he had written.

"What?" He muttered, looking very confused.

"The lyrics. They're very dark and deep. You haven't written like this in a while. Is everything ok?" I replied, worrying about the meaning.

"Yeah... I'm fine 'Trick. Don't worry." He said, but I could tell he was lying, I could always tell when he was lying. It was a curse sometimes.

"No, you're not. Seriously, you can tell me anything, Pete. You know that." I reassured, moving closer to him on the couch.

"It's nothing, Pat. Just leave it." He repeated, becoming a little annoyed. I sat there for a while trying to figure out whether I should push it more or leave him alone. I hated knowing that he was hurting, but I knew that if I said one wrong thing he would never tell me what was wrong. I finally decided, and guided him over to me so he could lay on my lap. He didn't resist, thankfully. I began stroking his hair, trying to calm him down.

"I'll leave it be, but when you're ready, just know that I'll be here to listen. Always." I whispered, feeling him relax into my hold.

---

We stayed like that until late at night. I was almost asleep when I heard him say my name.

"Hey, Pat, you awake?" He murmured, sounding sleepy.

"Hmm- yeah, what is it, Pete?" I replied, looking down at him.

"About earlier. You were right, I've been relapsing a little. I don't know why, but I just always feel drained and empty or sad. I can tell it's coming back, I needed a way to vent, so I wrote the song. I didn't really know how to tell you, so I let you read it. But when you realized something was wrong, I didn't have the courage to tell you. I knew it would break your heart, but you need to know." He told me, his voice cracking slightly. He didn't say it outright, but I knew he was talking about his depression. And he was right, it broke my heart. I hated seeing him like that.

"Pete, I think you need to go to the doctor. Maybe get some anti-depressants. You know, it might tackle it before it gets too bad. I mean, I've never dealt with this so I'm not too sure. What'd you think?" I said, stroking his hair again. I could tell he was either about to start crying, or was already crying.

"I guess you're right, but why do you think it's coming back? I've been so happy with you and the band is in a great place. I don't know why this is happening." He sobbed, and I could feel his body shaking. I almost felt my heart-shattering.

"Depression doesn't give a crap about your life. It comes and goes whenever it pleases. It's a shit thing, but it's the truth, unfortunately. I'll book you an appointment tomorrow, just try to calm down Petey. It'll get better, just think happy thoughts." I explained, kissing his forehead.

After a while, he stopped shaking and crying. "A little better now?" I asked, rubbing his shoulders.

"Yeah, your trick helped a little. I just had to get through. Thanks 'Trick." He replied, smiling the slightest.

"What'd you think about?" I asked, helping him off my lap. Once he was settled onto my shoulder, he responded,

"You."