most likely goodies ; an update book

roses

idk oops

~

Ryan's hair is unkempt while his pajamas are covered in dirt. It's around four in the morning and the sun hasn't even rose from the horizon yet. To him, the dim, flickering lamp light that's sitting on his open windowsill is enough to see what's in front of him.

He stirs for a bit, head dipping down every once and a while due to the lack of sleep, but he presses forward. It's a weird initiative to be maintaining his rose garden at a time where most gardeners wouldn't be awake, but it's a natural urge for him. He could refer it as a little safe heaven when things go rough.

"Ryan?" A voice yawns above him from the porch. He freezes, not bothering to look up.

Dottie barks loudly and comes running to his side. A small smile creeps across his thin, pallid lips. Brendon isn't smiling, however. He strolls over to him, standing in silence. Ryan feels a weight on the top of his head; Brendon's hand is resting there. It's a bit comforting and gives him solace.

"Let's head back to bed, okay?" Brendon coos softly while tugging at the older boy's arm. Ryan doesn't budge, however. He's sitting there, choking back tears as he gazes aimlessly at the rose bush.

"Okay," Ryan gives in. Brendon helps him stand up and he leads him inside their home. They don't bother to flick off the lamp light sitting on the windowsill. They're heading upstairs and towards their shared bedroom. Bogart and Penny Lane are both sleeping on the floor next to the bed while Dottie is scurrying towards her spot on the corner of the bed.

Ryan lays down first and tries to relax himself. His mind is racing as Brendon lays next to him and plants a kiss in his forehead. He missed these moments dearly. For the first time in weeks, his body relaxes to the point where he's close to drifting off to sleep.

"Goodnight, Ryan," Brendon murmurs. Something's hazy in the tone of his speech. It's dream-like, a fantasy perhaps. Ryan realizes what's happening and his eyes snap awake. He dozed off and it's already morning. Light is flooding in through the windows and it's burning his eyes.

Penny Lane, Bogart, and Dottie are all sleeping on the bed next to him. Elwood couldn't fit, due to the fact that he's such a large dog, and is on the floor. Ryan rubs his tired eyes to find that they were damp. Sore from crying in his sleep he safely assumes.

He grabs Brendon's pillow and screams into it. He's angry, sad, and overwhelmed by the refreshing feeling of grief. Brendon's gone; he's always been gone.