I’m truly depressed Ablo. According to our little Mars rover television…back where I come from we’ve lost an aeroplane. Pfft! Vanished into thin air.
“That’s too bad sir. But it was necessary you know.”
Necessary Ablo? There were over three hundred people aboard that plane. They mysteriously reversed direction over a very large, and I might add unfrozen, body of water. Unless they landed in some foreign unknown place…those lives are lost forever. What could possibly be necessary about that?
“Don’t worry about the people sir. They’re fine.”
That’s ridiculous Ablo…how can they be fine. They’re probably at the bottom of the ocean.
“Well…not exactly sir. Let me show you something.”
Where are you taking me Ablo. This is ridiculous. It’s freezing out here. What could you possibly show me that would make a difference for those people on that plane?
“Ze plane sir.”
Yes…it’s Mars-Force-One. What about it?
“Well….you needed a plane…and…well…”
You can’t mean…? But How?
“Let me show you something else sir.”
Why Ablo…it’s an entire civilization of Pink people…just like me. Why haven’t I seen them before? And some of them look famous. There’s Elvis, Sinead O’Conner, Larry King, Glen Beck. My Gork…I think I see Susan Surandon. Those are some whacked individuals back where I come from.
“That’s not all sir.”
Another room Ablo…why there goes Richard Nixon and Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin. And there’s Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama. So those people over on my planet…the reason they're acting like complete lunatics and idiots…they’re really just aliens?
“We’ve been taking them a few at a time for years sir…those stories you hear about anal probing and U.F.O.’s…well they’re all true sir. We plant our mentally retarded people in their bodies and set them loose...and you must admit they really fit quite nicely where you come from. You have a lot of strange individuals over there.
Tell me it’s a nightmare Ablo. I'm on Fantasy Island, right? I’m going to wake up any second now…right?
“And let me show you show you something else.”
Ablo that’s the biggest pile of socks I’ve ever seen.
“From billions of clothes dryers on your planet. It’s our little April fool’s joke…a little over the top, I know, but our CIA just can’t seem to help themselves.”
But Ablo…all of these covert operations….it’s outrageous. How can you do things without the consent of the people.
“We learned that trick from you’re government sir.”
We have to do something about this Ablo…this can’t go on the way it has! I’m a politician…and even I know this is wrong!
“Shhhh…sir….they might hear you. If you’re overheard by them they’ll ship you off to Venus. You’ll never be heard from again.”
Oh, look Ablo…over there…it’s a pub…let’s go get a drink.
“Would you like me to invite some of your fellow pink friends to toast a few sir?”
What pink friends Ablo. I see nothing. I know Nothing!
“I like Hogan’s Heroes too sir. Great show. Would you like to at least invite John Banner?”
No Ablo…I think I’d like to drink this next bottle alone.
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Humorblog blog...is a daily social/political satirical story of the author's life after landing on the planet Mars. He introduces American social and political dynamics to the Martians and changes the way they see their world. No public policy, party o...
