Alone

Chapter 27

Mabel's POV

Bill came back eventually, but when he did, he looked nervous. When I tried to ask him about it, he brushed me off. So I ignored it, though it only seemed to be getting worse.

"Bill." he didn't respond. He was just sitting on the couch staring at nothing. "Bill." I waved a hand in front of his face. "Bill."

"Huh?" His head snapped up.

"You okay?"

"Yes Star!" he snapped a little too harshly, making me flinch. Then his face softened. "I'm sorry, I told you, I just don't like this guy and really don't want to have to see him for an entire dinner." 

"Okay, I get it." After that, it was silent for a few minutes. I had a question I had been wanting to ask him for a while though, I just never had the courage to ask it. Finally, though, I found it. "Hey, Bill?"

"Hm," he hummed in response, not bothering to look up at me.

"I- uh, I have a question, that I've- been wanting to ask for a while now." He looked up at me.

"What?"

"Well, I thought since you're gone a lot, and you only need to take power once a day or so, I thought, maybe I could..." I paused, debating whether or not to continue.

"You thought what?" Bill asked.

"I, um, maybe I could see Dipper more often?" I looked at Bill's face to try and read his expression. It was blank.

"No." He simply said, standing up and turning around.

"What?" I stood up and walked toward him. "Why not, you can't-"

"I SAID NO!" He snapped and whipped around. He towered over me, making me flinch.

"But I-"

"Star, we had a deal. And you can't leave. Got it?" His eyes started turning red, while mine filled with tears. I tried to respond, but all I could manage to do was keep my tears from spilling. He finally backed off me slightly. I backed up and ran to my room. 

When I got there, I slammed the door shut and fell on my knees to the ground crying. 

"Why the fuck do I ever think he's going to be nice," I sobbed to the floor. I sat back and hugged my knees to my chest, burying my head. I don't care anymore. I don't care about getting better, or whether or not Bill cares. Just want to see Dipper again. Like in my dream.

I picked my self off of the ground and ran to my bathroom. Like I said, I didn't care about getting better anymore, so what's it going to hurt. Once I was in the bathroom, I took off my sweater so I was just in shorts and a sports bra.

I searched through the cabinets until I found what I was looking for. A razor. 

I picked it apart until the sharp side was poking up. Then, I took it and dragged it across my arm. Now that I wasn't with my mom or Dipper, no one would care to check my arms, and I could cut anywhere. 

I took the blade across my arm multiple times, not cutting too deep, but enough. I knew I shouldn't be doing it, but at this point, it was the only thing I had left. 

I kept making new cuts, going in un even rows up my left arm. The blood dripped onto the floor, but I didn't care about that as well. I didn't care about anything.

I was about to start on my other arm until I heard something.

"Star, are you in here?" I dropped the blade as I heard Bill's voice call from outside.

"Um- yeah, I'm in the bathroom." It was silent except for the sound of him walking over.

"Can I come in?" I heard his hand on the door knob.

"No! Please, don't." I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my arm

"Ok," he sighed. "Well, you should probably get ready. He'll be here any minute.

"O-okay. I will."

"Alright." There was a pause. "And, Star, I'm sorry." He waited for a response, which I didn't give. When he realized this, he left.

If he was really sorry, I'd be with Dipper by now. I thought bitterly.

I squeezed the towel on my arm to stop the bleeding. It hurt, but I needed to wrap it up before he noticed it. Shit, why did I even do this? He's going to see it and get even angrier. Fuck, I'm so screwed.

After a couple minutes, I took the towel off my arm. Some of the deeper cuts were still bleeding, but most of them had stopped enough. 

I searched thought he bathroom, and surprisingly found some first aid supplies. I dug through them and found something to wrap my arm with. Though it was difficult to do it with only one arm. I also found another towel to clean up the blood that had dripped on the floor.

Once I was finished, I looked for a long sleeved shirt to cover it up with.

Bill's POV

I walked out of Star's room and went to my own. 

"Ugg," I groaned. "Why is this so hard." I shouldn't have yelled at her. That was a real dick move. "Way to go Cipher," I scolded myself.

I was just so afraid. Afraid if I let her go see her brother that she would leave me forever. I didn't know if I was afraid because I need her, or because.... of other reasons. But I knew one thing. I didn't want to lose her.

But I am. I am because I'm such as asshole. She'll never like me if I keep acting like this.

But it's hard. Demons aren't like humans, we have different prime emotions that take over. A humans prime emotions are Fear, grief, and joy. While a demon tends to lean more on anger, pride, lust. It's harder for demons to conceal their anger. Though, around her it's easier. But for some reason I still can get a fucking hold of myself.

But I need to.

So, I made up my mind. That after dinner tonight, I would let her go see Dipper. She needs that break, and I'll give it to her. I stood up in my room and ran to her room.

"Star," I called as I knocked on the door.

"Yeah," she sounded nervous.

"Can I come in?"

"Um- n-no."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just, need a minute to... get dressed."

"Oh, ok. Well if you-" I was interrupted as I heard the door bell go off. "Ugg," I groaned. "Coming!" I turned away from Star's room, to go let Tad in.