Similarities and Differences

Back To School

Tuesday, August 15

I go to school on Friday to get ready for the school year. I'm nervous, to be honest. I know the other four new teachers that will be teaching at my school, and I have stayed in contact with all of them. I'm kind of worried about meeting the other teachers because I come from a very rough small town in Alabama, and I'm going to be teaching in one of the best school districts in Iowa. If my aunt wasn't a principal here, I wouldn't be here. When people find that out, they may think lower of me.

Part of me misses the comfort of Alabama, but at the same time, I know I'm in a better place here. In the long run, it will be better for Ava.

I'm also nervous about her going back to school. What if kids don't treat her right and she blames me for it? I don't want anything to happen to her. What if she gets depressed? Okay, we're not going there. I feel like an overly protective father, but I know since my mom was the opposite, I'm at risk for being way too protective, so I tone it down to what's actually reasonable. I think it's normal to be worried about Ava going back to school though.

I've been thinking about that sermon from the other day, and we're supposed to wait instead of worry. That's the opposite of what I wanna do. I want to know how everything is going to turn out now, but I need to be patient, and let life play out on its own time.

When I think about teaching a bunch of kids in this district, I am conflicted because I feel like these kids don't have much to learn from me. I know that sounds horrible, and I know I can teach them about my life in Alabama, but I don't really wanna wear my heart on my sleeve with my students. I don't really want them to know my background. For one, it requires talking about it. Two, they are going to look at me differently like everyone else in the world when they find out where I come from.

I'm trying to figure out my mission for this school year. Maybe my mission is to inspire one kid to keep on moving forward. Maybe my mission is to counsel someone who is really struggling. Maybe my mission to remind each student how loved they are. Maybe it's to prove to them that they are all worth it.

There's a lot of pressure when it comes to teaching the future generation. I mean, at the end of the day, if the generation after us turns out poorly, it's our fault as adults. Back in the day, kids were raised and taught by their mothers, but now they're taught by these teachers, and God knows how many teachers actually enjoy what they do. Teachers need to act like parents in a way. Is teaching and parenting that different? I have the same goals and expectations for my students as I do for Ava. I want them to know how loved they are. I want them to know that they can succeed.