Enigma | The Hobbit: Thorin Oakenshield |

Ch.12 - Break My Mind

A/N: This is a really short chapter but is a bit different. Mira is basically talking to herself in this one because of how she's feeling and I wrote it in second person but it's still her. What you're reading is her thoughts and be warned, DON'T READ IF YOU'RE EASILY AFFECTED BY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! The reason it's so short is because I wanted this chapter to be focused on her thoughts and emotions.

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Emptiness. That's really the best way to describe it. You just got your heart ripped out of your chest and all you could do is watch. The agonizing feeling of your soul being drained away is unbearable, sickening. Then the nausea begins to hit. It makes your eyes swell and throat burn. In fact, everything burns. Gasping for air only seems to make the situation worse since you used your voice for screaming. The walls begin to close all around and you then realize you're stuck. You don't know what to do. Any movement, even the tiniest, causes the chains around your body to tighten. It's strangling you.

More restraints come to fall until you find yourself unable to walk. The weight is too much. You have to drag yourself until you start bleeding but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. The pain doesn't compare to the feeling of being broken and your only light, is the man that hurt you. But he's so far away and doesn't even want to be near piece of filth, such as you. You're disgusting to him. Beneath him. A storm is coming soon, it's freezing and you have nowhere to shelter yourself. He was the one that protected you, he was your home and now? He's just gone. You're alone. You don't understand why and you wish it weren't true but it happened. He left. You weren't good enough.

Heavy rain starts to fall rapidly and you smile. It's sad isn't it? Thinking that everything was going to be ok but you were a fool to dream of such things. This is reality. It's cruel and unforgiving. Tears begin to form in your eyes but the storm masks it well. No one will be able to see you break down. Now you just need to pretend you're ok. Smile. Laugh. Just fake everything. When really, all you want to do is die. You didn't even realize it but you let him get too close. You exposed yourself because you trusted him. You believed in him. You thought he was different but he's just like everyone else. One minute they care but once they discover more about your past, you're practically dead to them. They only used and abused you. You didn't stand a chance. You were a fool to think you were strong enough. Now you just have to sit there and wait till the darkness consumes you. It goes for your heart and slowly, takes the rest of you. It's torture but there's no way to stop it. It's too late. Will anyone remember you? Will they care? Or will you just be another corpse in the ground? It's all too much to handle, it makes your body ache. You cry out, trying to break free but it's useless. No one can save you. You're alone.