Awaken With Mistakes (GLP Book 2)

Chapter Twenty- "Edge Of The World"

THE WEDDING WOOHOO. | Apr 14, 2014 

"Are you super nervous, now?" Phil asks.

"Yeah," I breathe. I was barely able to stand up. Phil straightens the tie on my suit, and I begin to feel light headed.

"I feel sick," I tell Phil. He sighs.

"You're just scared. Don't worry, Ash," he says. I nod slowly.

"Okay, Tino says its time," Phil tells me, putting his phone back in his pocket. I take a deep breath. This is it, there's no turning back now.

"Are you ready?" he questions.

"Ready as ill ever be," I answer.

"Therefore, never, but too bad. Go," he says, urging me forward. "Go to him." I nod slowly, gulping as I feel the sweat beads form on my forehead. 

"Alan, go!" Phil says again, nudging me forward. My body begins to move forward, walking down the isle covered in red and pink flower petals. Maddie was our flower girl. 

My mind hasn't caught up to the time that is currently, seemingly, standing still. I feel the world spinning beneath me as I reach Austin, smiling brightly towards me. I feel even more skittish as I step onto the white, wooden platform underneath Austin, the priest, and I. 

"We are gathered together here, today, to join together this man and this man in holy matrimony," the priest begins to say. I look up at Austin, seeing his beautiful toothy smile. I show off a weak grin, but alas, I'm too ruffled to do anything more. Couldn't say I hadn't put effort into this. I'm really trying my hardest to not be nervous, but it's easier said than done. 

"If anyone here in this room disagrees with the marriage of Alan Anthony Ashby and Austin Robert Carlile, please say now or forever hold your peace," the priest announces. No one in the room makes a move. Not even Gielle, who showed up for some reason. I don't want to know why, although it does make me extremely suspicious. I wonder what type of trick she's conjured up. I'm scared to find out. 

"Alright," the priest says, clearing his throat. "Do you, Austin Robert Carlile, take Alan Anthony Ashby as your lawfully wedded husband?" 

"I do," Austin answers, smiling. 

"And do you, Alan Anthony Ashby, take Austin Robert Carlile as your lawfully wedded husband?" the priest asks me. I nod.

"I do," I respond, my voice a little raspy and shaky. How is Austin not nervous? Maybe it's because he's done this before. 

"I now pronounce you Mr and Mr Carlile," he says. "You may kiss the groom." 

I smile widely as Austin walks over to me. I look up at him, as his face lowers towards mine. 

"I love you," he whispers, brushing his lips upon mine. 

"I love you, too," I reply, closing the gap between us. Austin immediately kisses back, creating a frenzy of new feelings and the fireworks burst everywhere. We're going to be together forever, I thought. 

A few minutes later, we break away. I look at the rows of people that came to our wedding. Most of them are crying. I'm not even sure why, considering nobody had said vows in front of them. Austin and I were going to exchange them privately. There is no way in hell I could stand in front of all those people and say my vows. I would have an anxiety attack, and that wouldn't make a good wedding. It'd be sure one to remember, though. 

"Are you ready to go home, Husband?" Austin says, smirking. I blink back tears of joy in my eyes. I really am married. Married to the love of my life. 

"Yes," I squeak, my voice cracking terribly. Austin pulls me into a hug.

"There's no need to cry," he whispers, rubbing my back. 

"I-I'm s-sorry," I whimper. 

"It's okay, Princess," he comforts. I nod. Princess. I need to get over that word. The past is the past, Alan. Get over it. 

"I'm going to go say goodbye to the guests," Austin says, breaking the hug. "Do you want to join me?"

"No, that's fine," I respond warily. "I'm going to go help Phil, Tino, Aaron and Shayley clean up." 

"Okay," he replies, smiling. "I love you." 

"I love you, too," I say as he walks off. I don't think he heard me, as my voice is far too quiet. 

I feel a buzz in my pocket and I pull out the phone to realize that it isn't mine. I had forgotten that I had Austin's phone. I run off to go find him to give it back. 

I end up running into Aaron instead. 

"Have you seen Austin?" I ask, panting. I must be really out-of-shape. Oh, of course I am. 

"Sorry, Ash," he responds. "But before you go, have you seen Amanda?"

"Who?" I question, scratching my head. 

"My girlfriend. I forgot that I hadn't introduced her to you guys yet! Ugh, I'm sorry," he says.

"It's okay, Aaron. Maybe we can meet her next week?" I suggest. Aaron nods.

"That'd be cool," he replies. "Also, I think Austin went over that way, but I could be wrong." He points off near the church we were just at. 

"Thanks, Aaron," I say, walking off.

"No problem!" he calls as he walks the opposite direction. Austin, oh Austin, where are you? 

I approach the front of the church, when I hear Austin's voice. 

"Of course," he says. Who's he talking to? 

I head to the side of the church. 

"Um, Austin, you left your pho-" I begin to say, stopping at the sight that I see. You promised you wouldn't hurt me. 

Austin was pinning Gielle against the brick wall, clearly enjoying the make-out session. I thought I finally had the one and only thing I yearned for. I guess I had thought wrongly. 

Gielle moans loudly into their kiss, and I want to move away, I want to run away, but I find myself not even moving. This was worse than anything that has happened in my life. For once, I had something, but Gielle had taken it away from me. She always had, why won't she stop? Doesn't she know what enough is enough? I guess she doesn't. 

I drop the phone onto the floor, surprisingly it doesn't shatter, and Austin immediately breaks away from her. He turns towards me. 

I feel the water from my eyes threatening to pour out at any time, but I can't do anything to stop them. I don't feel anything. That numbing feeling is back, and I don't think it's going to go away any time soon. I wanted to feel something, but I can't. I can't feel anything anymore. 

"Alan," Austin whispers, starting to approach towards me, where I stand as a statue. My body slowly backs away from him, but my mind stays the same. Nothing has changed. Austin didn't love me. He didn't want me. He even married me, he's seemed like he had a heart of gold, but he's done nothing but sold my soul.

-x-

Word Count: 1183

dont kill me pls ily