Awaken With Mistakes (GLP Book 2)

Chapter Nine- "I Never Said I'd Be Coming Back For You"

*Alan's POV* [A/N: i apologize for this chapter. TRIGGERING, warning ahead of time.] | Apr 6, 2014 

"Alan, you need to get up now," Shayley says, poking my shoulder. 

"Why?" I groan, rolling over, tangling myself in the wires that attach me to the miscellaneous hospital machines. 

"Austin is outside in the waiting room and if you don't get up right now I will bring him in here. He's coming in anyways, letting you know that," he says. I roll my eyes.

"So basically I'm screwed either way?" I ask. 

"Pretty much," he responds. I sigh. 

"Fine, whatever," I mutter. "Bring him in. I am not looking fine for him." 

"Suit yourself," he chuckles and exists the door. 

"He made me a mess anyways," I whisper to myself. 

Minutes later, I hear the door open again with voices being heard. I still lay on my stomach, my face shoved into my pillow. Odds are, Austin will think I'm sleeping. I hope so. 

"Why was I brought here?" Austin asks Shayley. 

"Because you need to get your shit together. Alan is a mess without you," he explains. 

"Alan needs to learn how to stop being so whiny!" Austin complains. Let me tell you, that hurts. It really hurts. 

"Well maybe if you would stop being such a bitchy whore, he wouldn't be hurting so much! Austin, open up your fucking eyes! You love each other, and you fucking proposed to him! You need to be there for him, because if you don't help him get better, he never will! If you don't save him, he'll keep falling and crashing. Eventually there might not be an Alan anymore because you will not fucking help him. Get it in your head, Carlile! Do you fucking understand me?!" Shayley screams at Austin. I understand every bit of what Shayley is saying, and frankly it's scary how well Shayley is understanding how I feel. Has something similar happened to Shayley in his past? Was it worse? 

I still keep my head down, but I sneakily rip the IV out of my hand, a stunt I performed previously in a hospital. I don't remember the outcome, but I need to cause some sort of commotion. 

Immediately, the heart monitor begins to race as my heart rate picks up. I feel the crimson red liquid oozing from my hand. I feel eyes on me and I hear Austin gasp. 

Do I really matter to him at all? 

"Shayley, w-what's h-happen-ening?" Austin stammers. From his voice tone, I know he's worried. But why would he? He doesn't care about me. He's even said it himself that I need to stop being so whiny and dependant. If I lost my life, I wouldn't be dependant. I'd be independent because I wouldn't need anyone to help me stay alive. I wouldn't even be alive. 

"Austin, you dumb fuck!" Shayley yells in anger and frustration. I know he's scared. Why would I have done this to myself? I feel myself begin to get dizzy from the blood-loss. But, why would they care? They hadn't even pressed the "Nurse" button or called for help. 

I don't matter to them at all. 

"Is he killing himself?!" Austin screams in terror. I attempt to roll over, but I fail sufficiently. In other words, I end up falling off the bed, ending up with the cords attaching me to the machines wrapped around my throat. Great, isn't it? 

"Austin, he's fucking going to die!" Shayley shrieks. He runs over to me frantically, leaving Austin standing in front of the door dumbfounded. Shayley begins to try to hoist me up, but he has no such luck. I'm too fat, and I can't do a thing to help him. I'm losing conscious. 

"Austin, help me!" Shayley wails, his tears streaming down his face. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper as the cords feel like they begin to get tighter. My breathing becomes shallow and difficult. 

"Alan, please, you can't leave us. No no no, not again!" Shayley begs. I let a few tears of my own slide down my rickety face. 

"I'll miss you," I croak, my voice becoming extremely hoarse and barely to understand. The cords wrap even tighter around my neck as I sink lower and lower. One of the machines falls over, sending me quickly to the floor. My head crashes to the tile. It's too soon for the pool of blood to appear benethe me. 

"Alan, please!" he whimpers, crying hysterically. I want to help him be happy, but I can't. There isn't a way that I can. It's too late, and Austin is doing nothing. I know he can save me. I know he can. Why isn't he doing it? 

He doesn't care about me. 

My eyes flutter closed. Every sound I hear sounds as if I were underwater, drowning slowly in my own depths of hell. What I don't understand is why Austin won't come to my rescue, why he won't be my hero. My savior. Does he hate me this much? 

I feel my body being lifted from the floor. What is happening? 

"You'll be okay, darling," someone whispers as they carry me off somewhere. I have barely the energy to cuddle up to the mysterious person. 

"I love you," they say in a hushed tone. Who could it be? It can't be Shayley, he'd be to hysterical to sound so calm. 

That's when it clicks in my head. 

It's Austin. 

-x-

Word Count: 1015

apologies for the shortness. a bit of writer's block attacked me ugh :c im so sorry. but ily all still, so enjoy. if you could, possibly read my other cashbys? I have like.. A TON THOUSAND. does that even make sense .-. ugh so anyways yeah i'd love you if you read some of my other stories. im writing a kellic too, but its private til its all done. sowwy about that. but its almsot done, so if you like kellic, then cheers to you! so yeah i hope you enjoy, i love you all :) enjooyyy and carry on with your cashby induced lives <3