Awaken With Mistakes (GLP Book 2)

Chapter 21- "You're So Cruel To Treat Me Like This"

TRIGGER WARNING!!! don't kill me ;-;. | Apr 15, 2014 

The thought never leaves my head. Could someone hate me so much to even object their own husband? I thought he loved me.

But I guess I was wrong. Why?

Because Austin Robert fucking Carlile cheated on his own newly wedded husband.

"Ash, he isn't worth it," Shayley says, trying to comfort me. I shake my head rapidly.

"He was the one, I swear!" I cry. "He was my love, he was my life!"

"Alan, would the love of your life cheat on you?" he asks. I look up at him, wiping my tears off of my face. I've been a wreck, if you hadn't guessed.

"Yes," I whimper. "Because he just did."

"I'm here for you, okay?" he says. I nod.

"I'm going to lay down," I whisper. "I'm tired."

"Don't be too long, Darling," Shayley responds. "I don't want to find my poor kitty dead." I see the sadness in his glowing blue orbs (which I hadn't noticed they glistened at all) and I know that my misery is affecting him too. I feel the guilt creep up inside me, and instantly I feel bad. I shouldn't bring my friends down with me. They're all I have to keep afloat.

"Okay," I mewl, walking to my room. Austin's stuff is still here, and it makes me want to cry even more. How could he do this to me? Am I really worthless like so many tell me?

I fall onto the bed, burying my face into my pillow. No... our pillow. I cry even harder.

"Alan?!" Shayley yells, bolting into the room. "Shh, shh, it's okay, you'll be okay."

"No I won't!" I scream, crying even harder if possible into the pillow. I remember everything in this room as if it happened yesterday.

"You're going to be fine, okay?" he says sternly. "At least promise me one thing. Promise me that."

"But I won't be!" I protest.

"You'll always have me, you know," he replies.

"I know," I whisper.

"I wouldn't cheat on you either," he mumbles. I look up at him, tilting my head.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says. Did Shayley just say he had something for me?

-x-

I stare down at the paper that Austin had been writing on. The song he never finished.

The devils crawling on my back to take you.

I want to finish it.

"Alan, what are you doing?" Shayley asks as he walks into the bedroom.

"Huh?" I ask, turning around to face him.

"You've been staring at that paper for about five minutes now," he explains. My face blossoms into a fierce red.

"Oh."

"What's special about it?" he questions, walking over.

"Um," I start off, unable to continue. What do I say?

Shayley peers over my shoulder and looks at the paper. I know he's reading it.

"Austin wrote this, didn't he?" he says. I nod.

"He didn't finish it," I whisper. "I want to finish it, record it. I want to sing it."

"Are you sure?" he interrogates. I nod.

"I'm sure," I say. "This, it will help me. Help me get over him."

"Alright," he says. I look back down at the paper. I can do this. I sigh.

I sit down on the chair, picking up the dull pencil. The ideas flow into my head, I immediately scribble down the lyrics. This is going to be the best song I've ever written.

"I never said, I'd be coming back for you.

I never said, I'd be coming back for you, back for you.

I never said that, I wish...

I wish that you could see, feel something or just believe,

But you're not here you're way past dead, your heart, it doesn't bleed.

You took a part of me, ripped from my very soul.

Now I feel like giving up when you're just losing control.

And, I fear that I've married a ghost, you appeared to have this heart of gold, and I fear, that you've sold my soul.

The devils crawling on my back to take you back.

Disguised your demons drag you straight to...

Fuck.

Lying, cheating (Think I don't know what you did?)

Lying, cheating. Think I don't know what you did?

Have many long to breathe, the dead are listening, buried you with my faith, these few last words regret to say.

Can't do this on my own, I can't be all alone, I've held my tongue for far too long this silence kills me...

And, I fear that I've married a ghost, you appeared to have this heart of gold, and I fear, that you've sold my soul.

The devils crawling on my back to take you...

I never said, I'd be coming back for you.

I never said, I'd be coming back for you...

And now I sing (and now I sing), for everything that I've lost.

And now I scream (and now I scream) for everything that I've loved...

Everything

And now we sing (now we sing) for everything that we've lost and now we scream (now we scream) for everything that we've loved...

We left our voices scream, we left our...

And now your demons have found you, and now like shadows surround you, and now these demons have bound you, and they're dragging you back to hell."

I smile at the work I've written.

"I like it," Shayley says from behind me, startling me.

"Holy shit, Shay!" I yell, flinging away. Shayley laughs.

"You've finally done something that isn't moping!" he cheers, clapping his hands. I glare at him, and place the sheet of paper under one of Austin's pile of notebooks. Austin.

"Shay, why do you think Austin hasn't retuned yet?" I ask warily. Shayley didn't like Austin right now, and neither did any of the guys. Jenna was miffed and Maddie was even more pissed. Nobody took his side, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Only Austin, sometimes Shayley and Jenna, are successful at that. Alcohol, it does it the best.

"I don't know, Alan," he replies, his face dropping. "If I had known, I would've told you."

I grab my phone off of the desk where the notebooks lay and unlock it. Austin hasn't made any communication with me, meaning he either doesn't care or he's too scared. Probably doesn't care.

I decide to send him a text, just so he knows how badly he's fucked up.

'Austin, you probably don't want to talk to my ugly ginger face, but just so you know, you're cruel to treat me like this.'

Send.

-x-

So um this book shall be finished by the end of this week! Yes, there will be a 3rd book. woohoo.