Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

vi.

"So what is this about?" Namjoon said, squeezing into the child-size plastic chair in front of Yoongi's teacher's desk.

She smiled tightly, but it looked more like a frown than an attempt at civility. "Are you aware of Yoongi's behavioral problems?" she asked disapprovingly.

Namjoon just laughed. "I know he sleeps a lot, and I'm sorry if that gets in the way of coloring time or whatever, but-"

"No, sir," the teacher interrupted. "Well, yes, Yoongi does sleep through most of what we do, but that's not why I called you in here today."

Namjoon frowned. "Then what's the problem?"

"Sir, your son has been using obscene language in class," she said, very clearly appalled.

"What?"

"Your son has been using inappropriate language in class," she repeated sternly, clearly expecting him to share her reproach.

"He's swearing in class?"

She pursed her lips and leaned back. "Well, yes. And he's simply using mean language."

"Mean language?"

She nodded like they were talking about a charged convict and not a toddler. "Patricia woke Yoongi up the other day for snack time, and he said, 'Go choke on a crayon.' Then when Patricia started crying, he went back to sleep! And Jimmy woke him up to leave the other day, and your son said - and I quote - 'I hope you fall on an open pair of scissors.'"

Namjoon snickered but tried to stifle his laughter.

"Excuse me, sir, but this is not behavior you can accept!" she said, shocked by his reaction. "You need to scold him and teach him that his behavior is wro-"

"I think those kids were wrong for waking him up. But shouldn't we be focusing on the important thing here?" Namjoon asked, smoothly redirecting the conversation while shifting in the tiny uncomfortable chair.

"Which is...?"

"Yoongi clearly has a knack for language," Namjoon said, smiling. "He's creating his own phrases. Isn't that wonderful?"

"They were threats."

"But artistic ones," Namjoon added, smiling.

She frowned. "That's not all."

"Oh? There's more?" Namjoon asked, settling in for more entertainment.

"There's always more with Yoongi," she muttered. "But yes. We have music class once a week, and we are teaching the children to sing the alphabet-"

"That's wonderful."

"-but your son, he..."

"He what?"

"He raps it," she said, pronouncing the word "rap" like it was a cardinal sin.

"See? I told you he had a knack for language." Namjoon smiled proudly. All my children are so wonderfully talented.

"But that's just it, he doesn't! He doesn't even rap the letters in the correct order!"

"Oh?"

"The alphabet should go a b c d e f g h-"

"I'm familiar with the alphabet."

"But he rearranged the letters!"

Namjoon tilted his head. "Then what does he rap?"

"A g u s t b," she said, frowning.

"Ooooooh," Namjoon said. "Not b. D. Yoongi draws his letters backwards so he switches them up a lot."

"...b or d doesn't make a difference! It's wrong!"

Namjoon frowned. "It's just different."

"Which makes it wrong!"

Namjoon sighed, standing up after disentangling himself from the chair. "Well, this has been fun, but I have to pick up my other sons." He went to the back of the room and shook Yoongi, who had been sleeping in back.

"I'll steal all of your stickers," Yoongi threatened, glaring at Namjoon.

Namjoon just smiled. "See?" he said, turning to the teacher. "So cute. And a real knack for language." Then he scooped Yoongi up and carried him on his shoulder out of the school.