Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

cxxxix.

"Dad?

Namjoon groaned, blinking as he opened his eyes. With his sleeping schedule still out of whack, he'd been falling asleep after work most days, waking up for dinner, and trying to get to sleep once more, but he rarely found success. He was honestly getting more sleep during his work shifts and naps than he was during the time he was supposed to be sleeping. "Jin, can this wait a little bit?" Namjoon asked, already shutting his eyes again and establishing a vague reminder to talk to Jin after dinner, but his plans were thwarted by a hand on his shoulder.

"Dad, can we talk?" Jin asked, and Namjoon grunted before opening his eyes once more and slowly bringing himself to an upright position.

"Sure, Jin," Namjoon mumbled, blinking and opening his eyes widely, trying to straighten his thoughts out. He'd been having some weird sort of dream, but it was already half out of his brain. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well, you know the football scholarship?" Jin asked, sitting down on the couch and playing with his hands.

"Um, not really," Namjoon said, not sure if it was just his mind being foggy or if Jin had really neglected to mention it to him. "Have you brought this up before?"

"I don't remember," Jin said, already moving on in his mind, too troubled to stay stuck for long in any one area of mental space. "But there was this football scholarship I was planning to get, only now someone else might get it, and they're using the next game to pick the winner, and it's sort of been driving me crazy for the past week or two and I skipped practice to go see Hobi at the hospital that one day and I feel like Coach still holds that against me and I feel like I'm going to lose the scholarship and then I can't go to college and I don't know what I'm going to do with my life or where I'm supposed to go or how everything is supposed to work out if this doesn't happen and I just-"

"Relax for a second," Namjoon interrupted, awake enough by this point to realize that Jin was on the verge of a panic attack, his anxiety clear through his shaking hands and his wide eyes and his barely-coherent rambling. "So there's a scholarship, and you might not get it?"

"Right."

"And if you don't get this scholarship, the rest of your life is ruined?"

"Pretty much." Jin swallowed.

"First off, that's not true," Namjoon said, frowning at Jin, who looked like he'd been playing Atlas for the past five years. Or maybe the past seventeen. "So, let's say you don't get this big scholarship." Jin's face instantly reflected his internal panic just at the thought, and Namjoon held his hands up defensively. "Just hypothetically speaking. Let's say you don't get it. Is that the end of the world?"

Jin nodded gravely, and Namjoon just shook his head, a sad smile on his lips.

"No it's not, Jin. There's never going to be one event in your life that will make your life not worth living or the world not a place worth living in. If you don't get this scholarship? That'll be hard, sure, but that's not the end for you. You don't have to go to a university. Most kids do, but not everyone. There are other options. But if going to a university means that much to you - if that's what you think you really need to do - then we'll figure it out somehow, okay? We'll look into money and make a plan to set some aside. Maybe you end up waiting a year or two while you find a job to help save up. Maybe you end up finding a job you really love instead and decide that you don't need a university to lead you to the next step in life. Whatever you decide - I'll be here for you, okay? Okay?"

Namjoon waited until Jin nodded before he continued. "And just know that any time you get a no in life - whether it's a no for the scholarship or a no for university or a no for a job - it's not a no for everything, okay? There's a quote, although I'm not sure where exactly it comes from, but it goes like this: 'When God closes a door, he opens a window.' Do you know what that means?"