Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

xciv.

Jimin was making progress with his studies under Miryo's tutelage. English still didn't come naturally to him, but he was getting less red marks on his assignments.

Although he'd started out with all red marks, so it wasn't like he could really get any worse.

Still, he worked hard in the hopes that he would be able to join his brothers in school because he didn't want to feel left out of any part of their lives.

***

"You're showing improvement," Miryo said. She never said things like "Good job" or "Well done." She didn't believe in empty placation.

But Jimin wouldn't have minded hearing them.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Miryo said, but before she left, Jimin hurried to stand in front of the door.

"Miryo?"

"Yes?"

"Do you really think I'll be able to go to school?"

Miryo was quiet for a long moment before she nodded. "Yes, I believe that you should be able to go back rather soon." She nodded at him before leaving, and Jimin watched her go.

He knew Miryo was telling the truth because Miryo didn't believe in empty placation. 

Which meant that Jimin would be able to go to school soon.

***

Jimin huddled in his bed, surrounded by an unnecessary quantity of blankets. He hadn't really thought about it before because he'd been so focused on achieving his goal, but now that he was close, he realized that he was absolutely terrified.

He hadn't gone to school in years. Not only had he been absent from school, school had been the location of his abduction. It was a source of deeply-rooted trust issues.

And now he was about to be thrown back in?

He'd thought that it was what he had wanted simply because it was what he didn't have.

But was he really ready for it?

He didn't remember much of his early years, but he remembered getting teased by some of the kids in his class. What if that happened again? What if he didn't fit in? What if he wasn't cool enough or funny enough or loud enough or tall enough or anything enough?

He had absolutely no idea what to expect. Sure, Jungkook and the others told him stories from school sometimes, but they only told him the good stuff, like how they'd made new friends or done well on a test or set the gym record for points in basketball (Yoongi, surprisingly). What about all the bad stuff? What about bullies and bad grades and being the last kid picked for the team?

What if that was Jimin?

Jimin shoved his face down into his blanket. He knew he was being irrational, which upset him even more. He couldn't have everything both ways; he couldn't dislike being left home alone and dislike the idea of going to school. He had to choose.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

Maybe he would make friends. Maybe he would get okay grades thanks to Miryo. Maybe he wouldn't be the first kid picked in gym, but maybe he wouldn't be the last, either.

Even in light of the possible good that he could experience, all Jimin could come back to was the imagine of his block tower falling down, the bricks being knocked out of alignment and tumbling, one by one, to the floor.

The memory was interrupted as the door to their room opened, and Jimin heard a soft, "Oh," as someone noticed him.

The bed dipped slightly as someone sat next to him. "Jimin? Are you okay?"

Jimin looked up, the blocks tumbling out of his mind, to see Jungkook sitting on the edge of his bed, looking concerned. "Hi Kookie," he said, squeezing his fingers tightly. He knew that he was still regarded as the weakest out of all of his brothers, and he didn't want to break down in front of the youngest.

"Jimin? What's wrong?" Jungkook asked, hesitating. He wanted to reach out and pat Jimin's head or rub his back or give him a hug, but he knew that in order to help Jimin become more independent, he couldn't do any of those things. He had to let him learn how to cope by himself. It hurt Jungkook a little, but he tried to think of it like a mama bird pushing her babies out of the nest so that they could learn how to fly. He wanted Jimin to fly, didn't he? So he stayed still.

"I..." It's nothing were the words caught on the tip of Jimin's tongue. He wanted to hide it, his insecurity, his doubt, his fear, hide it like he was hiding so many things, but he was sick of it all, all the secrets, all the lies, all the things he had to go to sleep knowing and wake up knowing that he was the only one who knew. "I'm scared to go back to school," he admitted after a long moment, flicking his eyes up to Jungkook's to see him looking back intently. Jungkook's attention gave him courage to continue, so he took a deep breath and went on, relaxing his hands so they stopped turning white with tension. "Miryo said I can go back soon, but I'm scared. What if I don't like school? Or what if the other kids don't like me?"

"You always have me and Tae," Jungkook said, but Jimin shook his head.

"I know, I know and I'm happy that I have you guys, but I don't want to rely on you for everything. I want to be able to succeed or fail by myself, you know? But I'm scared that I won't be able to adjust and that I'll just cling onto you and Tae even though I know you guys probably have other friends that you want to be with."

Jungkook didn't correct him because he knew that telling Jimin that actually, Tae and I don't know anybody else wasn't the best thing to do. "But isn't the chance of making friends better than the certainty of being alone here?" Jungkook asked softly, trying to be gentle and not hurt Jimin's feelings.

Jimin thought about Jungkook's words for a long moment before nodding slowly. "I think so...but I'm still scared. I don't want to get hurt."

Jungkook smiled. "We won't let you get hurt, okay? I promise."

Jimin bit his lip, stretching out his pinkie. "You promise?"

Jungkook smiled before wrapping his pinkie around Jimin's and squeezing lightly. "I promise."

Jimin smiled. "Okay, Kookie. I promise that someday, I'll protect you too, okay? Maybe not now because I don't think I'd be very good at it, but I'll still try my best."

Jungkook laughed, finally giving in and letting himself ruffle Jimin's hair. "Don't worry about it, Jiminie."

The older pouted slightly, but he felt relieved.

And maybe a little bit excited.

I'm going to go to school soon.

surprise, an update you definitely weren't expecting but it's here anyway :')

thanks all for the well wishes and kind words :)