TOO GOOD ; Phan

s i x t y n i n e

TW

We leave the flat, and Phil reaches out to lace his fingers with mine, which I accept without thinking twice. If someone sees, then, well, they won't. Maybe. Already, my stomach feels heavy after eating breakfast. It's too much. Phil always offers me food, and I feel too bad to turn him down, as he's so fucking sweet, so I don't. It's making me fat, and eventually, he's going to stop loving me when he realises how disgusting I am. He'ss see my scars eventually. In the future he'll find out about my mind and how messed up I am. When that day comes, he'll surely end our relationship.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts, that Phil has to point out that we've already reached the school.

"You okay? I swear if I see Anthony I'm going to-"

"I'm fine." I lie, I am not fine. I don't want to see him or any of his friends. I know that now this has happened, my beatings are going to be a whole lot worse.

Phil and I don't have the first lesson together, so I spend the time staring out of the window, the teacher not even bothering to grab my attention yet. A bunch of girls sat behind me start sniggering about something, my name included. Once the lesson ends, I walk out of the room and wait for Phil by the lockers, and mere moments later, he's walking up to me.

"Hey, uh, I saw Pj and Chris somewhere over there," he says, pointing. "and I thought I'd come here to tell you before I try to find them so that you didn't think I'd forgotten. Do you wanna come with me, or you can stay here?"

I really do want to go along with him, but he'll only take a few minutes and I don't want to seem clingy, even though I am.

"I'll just stay here, I've never really talked to Pj or Chris before."

"Well, they're very nice and very gay, so I figure you'll like them."

"Okay, I'll be waiting."

And so he walks off, looking around for the duo, and I hear the sound of chuckling from around me, and I look up from where I was looking, which was the floor, to see Kian, Tom, Brody and more importantly; Anthony, surrounding me.

"I'm surprised pretty boy Daniel isn't actually a slut!" Anthony barks at me. "Too bad, I could've taken your virginity and then kicked you out. Left you even more heartbroken." 

The boys move towards me, though all but Anthony stop part way, and Anthony moves closer.

"That could still happen, but you just wouldn't have any say. You little faggot!"

I laugh. I don't mean to, but I laugh, and I know it's going to make this whole thing worse.

"What? What are you laughing at, you dumb prick?"

"Well, you're being homophobic, meanwhile you're the person trying to have sex with me."

"I'm not gay, you idiot, I just wanna fuck." He moves closer. "And you're basically a girl anyway." He says, quieter, grabbing a fistful of my hoodie from below my neck. 

I squirm around, trying to get out of his grip, but he's tall and strong, and I'm the opposite. His free hand sneaks underneath my skirt and on to my thigh, and I let out a sob. The boy begins grinding down on my, the other boys around just laughing and murmuring stuff. My eyes are squinted shut, and then everything stops.

I open my eyes to see Phil grabbing Anthony and punching him over and over in the face, and then he pulls off of him, Anthony having to cup the side of his face with one hand, grabs my arm, and we run, Pj and Chris slightly ahead of us.