Just Friends (A Damie Fanfic!)

Netflix and regret

The aftermath of our love making was not as I expected. I eased out of her and she turned towards me and touched my face. Smiling, she got up and went to the bathroom. No words were said. I heard the shower and I took that time to reflect on the events that had just transpired. I know this is wrong. Have I been blind for so long that I did not realize how much I cared for her? What am I going to do? I have to be honest with myself before I can be honest with Amelia. Wow, I have really fucked things. I just shot my Universal contract in the foot as well. I remember their warnings to keep any untraditional social behavior completely non-existent till after Freed. I think he used the words I dont care if you are sucking dick Dornan on your free time, just dont let it get on the news. Dana had a way with words that made your stomach fucking hurt. He was a pig but it did make Dakota laugh until he turned to her and said You too! No hanky panky with Jamie or any other married men. Unless you want to be seen like a home wrecking bitch. She went silent and I grabbed her hand in mine and told him to fuck off.

When she gets out of the shower she walks into her closet gets out a robe nothing underneath, and walks out of the room. She glances really quickly my way as she steps out but does not say a word. I lay back on her bed cover my eyes with my hands and groan. I am so confused and I dont want to think of the bad right now but I cannot help it. I am the worst type of human being. What will Universal say? What will Millie do? How can I explain to my father? What about Don and Melanie? Oh, shit I have become so close to her family. Her friends are my friends. I am thinking about all of this I do not hear her come back into the room with wine and snacks. She turns the TV on startling me. Shit! Oh, I am sorry Kota. You scared me!. Jamie, relax okay? Lets get one thing straight. I am going to talk and you listen. What happened here was between two consenting adults. I know what this means and how bad you must feel. If you want I will never mention it again, but I know in my heart you love me more than friends. I knew for a while. I waited so long for you to figure it out on your own. We explored the boundaries of our relationship and expanded said relationship. I am in love with you. I always have been. I am not naïve and I know that we may never be a couple. I guess what I am asking for is for you to be honest with yourself and me. I want you to tell me how you really feel and whether that turns into more we will find out. I just know I cant be without you in my life. I will take you anyway I can have you. So, stop feeling all flustered I am not in the least. I love your family too I do. I love Millie and the girls so much but I am in love with you. I know what I want and I am not willing to play fair. I will play however, I have to, in order for you to realize you love me. Dakota, you know I love you. I have loved you for so long as well. I think this just opened my eyes to how far I am willing to take us. I thought my love for you was of a best mate or of family. I realize now I want you on a way more intimate plane. I want to permanently move into the space between your legs. I lust for you as well as love you. I need to have you. I am powerless against this fact. You know how it has been since we had Elva, I never get excited for Amelia anymore. I have to confess I have masturbated to thoughts of you. Even pics I found online of us during filming. I remember how Amelia and I conceived Elva. I groaned your name while coming in my wife. She was mortified. I told her I was drunk and she eventually forgave me. Elva, should have been your baby if I would have been real with myself. Tell me, if you loved me for so long why not sleep with me in Germany?. Jamie, you were very drunk. I wanted our first time to be special like today. I waited because I knew you would regret that night. I did it for you. Do you realize how hard it was to leave you there? I sobbed for hours and then took a plane far away from you. I have suffered so much for you. I have waited so patiently for what seems like forever. I am tired of putting my feelings aside. I want us to be real for everyone to see. I have so much to think about Dakota. Please for me, dont think this weekend. Just do what feels right. After that you go wherever you have to next and think and let me know what you want to do. Give us a chance. Please. No one has to know and if you decide that this is not for you or you dont feel the same way then I will just stay your friend. Deal?.

I stare at her face and smile, Deal!. What is to come we will have to face together but my fears and disgust still linger. I am fighting myself every step of the way and I know I love this woman in front of me. I resign myself to be liberated this one weekend and make my decisions later. Luckily it is a long weekend I dont have to be back till Tuesday. I will make the best of the time that I have. I turn off my phone and hand it to her. We make an agreement to have it on a couple of hours each day to text and get updated on any important matters. I sent a mass email that I will have limited service for the next few days. I am on Dakota time now. Only she can bring me complete serenity in this crazy world.

The next few days should be interesting.