Losing All Control

Chapter 11

I came home to find my mom making out with some guy on the couch. “Oh, honey! I didn’t hear you come in!” she said embarrassed, pulling away from him.

“Whatever,” I grabbed a soda and stormed off to my room. I threw my bag on my bed, pissed. Why did Taylor have to be such an ass? Why did Cameron have to come back? And most of all why did I have to care? It was only a matter of time before I packed up and left anyways.

I never had problems with liking guys at my old schools; I knew there was no point. But for some reason Cameron and Taylor were making me reconsider.

My mom came barging into my room screaming, “How dare you talk to me that way in front of company!”

“You mean the pathetic loser you were swapping spit with?”

She gasped, “Joe is not a loser!”

“Joe? The guy’s name is Joe?” I retorted.

“And what’s so wrong with the name Joe? He is a hard worker and I really like him!”

“Oh! You REALLY like him? Like you REALLY liked your past 3 boyfriends, who you just happened to dump, by the way.” I yelled back at her.

“That is none of your business!” Her voice was starting to get really high and squeaky, showing that she was pissed.

“It’s my fucking business when you make me pack up everything and move after EACH boyfriend!”

I had her there. “You know I need a fresh start!” She stomped her foot on the ground. Sometimes I wondered who the kid was in this relationship.

“I’m sick of your fresh starts! Did it ever occur to you that I don’t actually have any friends? And that I haven’t been able to have a boyfriend because we move to much because of your ‘fresh starts’, which when it’s every other fucking month doesn’t count by the way.” I was so angry I could feel that tears were about to spill out of my eyes.

She stumbled back a second looking hurt, “You have friends… what about that Becky girl?”

I laughed bitterly, “Becky?! From 4 moves ago? She stopped talking to me while we still lived there.”

Mom ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, “It’s not my fault you can be such a brat sometimes.” Then she turned and left my room, slamming the door.

My jaw dropped. How could she say something like that? I felt a hole open up inside my chest.

I flew open my door and ran down the stairs, heading for the door. “Carson! Carson! I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry!” my mom called after me. I didn’t stop though, I just kept walking.

I walked down the street and her words just kept playing over and over in my head. Eventually the tears came, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I kicked a rock on the ground, pissed that I was crying. “Whoa! Watch it, you could really hurt someone!” I looked up to see Cameron standing there with a sympathetic smile.

I tried to laugh, but it didn’t work very well.

He used his thumb to gently wipe the tears off my checks, “Is it about Taylor?” he asked.

I looked up at him guiltily, “No, but about earlier with him…”

Cameron shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, you don’t have to explain anything to me.”  I sighed. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. Unfortunately, that only made my cry more. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the top of my head, “Shhhh”.

It felt so good to just be held and comforted. I never got much of that from my mom.

Eventually I managed to pull myself together, but Cameron still kept his arms around me. “You want to do something to get your mind off whatever it is?”