Obliviate ~ Wolfstar

Let it All Out

Soon the class was over, and word had clearly got around that Professor Lupin was a legend. The whispers continued even in the oldest of classes, and Remus had no choice but to ignore them. If he shouted again, it would probably cause another awkward moment where they would awe him, if he spoke to Slughorn then he wasn't in control, and would be seen as weak.

James and Sirius behaved all day, there were a few moments when they felt like slipping and becoming pranksters, but most of the time they kept control of themselves.

The trio retreated to the ROR, ignoring the whispers of 'Lupin' 'Professor' 'All three, legends' 'Don't like Snape'

Remus collapsed onto his bed, groaning into the pillow.

"You okay, lo-mate?" Sirius asked, changing his words.....why had he changed his words?

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Remus muttered.

"No you aren't," Sirius corrected gently.

"Look, guys, I'm gonna get some food, you...yeah, whatever," James walked out smirking, as if knowing something Remus didn't. Sirius was clearly in the loop, because he sent James an angry glare as he walked out the door.

"God," Remus groaned. Sirius was silent, that's what James did when Sirius had wanted to talk, surely that was the right thing, if James had done it for him?

"God, I didn't do anything! They just were annoying me, I shouted, I helped them, I was just doing my job! I'm meant to be an assistant professor, that's what assistant professors do, right?" Remus glanced at Sirius for reassurance.

"Erm, mate. I'm meant to be an assistant professor too, and you did things I could never do. You made them obey you, you helped them, you were a proper teacher. James and I play the fool, mate, we don't actually do the stuff. Blimey mate, you don't even know what that potion was, you still managed to help them more than James and I did!"

"But that wasn't hard, that was just doing the theory, listening and following the instructions, I was just helping them!" Remus defended.

"And did you see Sniv-Snape helping them?" Sirius appointed out.

"No, no, but-"

"No Remus, you be quiet, you are meant to be a teacher, the students love you, everyone does, you are meant to be here, and don't you...don't you ever think that you aren't meant to be, okay?" Sirius' eyes were starting to well up with tears.

"What....what do you mean?" Remus asked, puzzled.

"Nothing, nothing, I-" Sirius broke off, eyes darting round the room.

"You what? Sirius you aren't telling me something," Remus glanced at him, "Are you....are you crying?"

"No....yes, yes I am but just leave me alone." Sirius turned away from him.

"Sirius..."

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sirius shouted.

Remus fell silent. James suddenly burst in, grinning and carrying a plate full of food, his thoughts happy and believing he would walk in on something he didn't want to walk in on, but secretly he would want to walk in on.

He didn't expect this - Remus, sitting on his bed, staring at Sirius, who was standing far away from Remus, tears dripping down his face and one hand covering it.

James cast a worried look at Remus, placing his forgotten plate down on the beside table and mouthed, "What did you do?"

"I don't know!" Remus mouthed back.

"Hey, hey mate," James approached Sirius gently. Sirius dropped his hand and cast a side glance to Remus, who was now standing beside his bed hands by his sides, uncertain of what to do, uncertain of how to handle one of his best friend's crying.

Because the truth was that James knew him better. Maybe in the other life, he had known him a lot better. God, he hoped he had known Sirius better in his other life, but here he was practically almost a stranger. He wished it wasn't like this, he wished he could be the one that could be there for Sirius.

James and Sirius left Remus to his thoughts, walking up to the astronomy tower. When they for there however, there were people already there. Two people to be exact. Two people they knew quite well.....

Jordan and Jed were sitting on he ledge of the tower, watching the sun go down. James had to stop himself from squealing. They were just so....cute! He had definitely been spending way too much time watching romance movies with Lily - first Remus and Sirius, though that was obvious, now these two first years? God he needed to spend more time with his mates...that was why he was here now, just spending time with Remus and Sirius....yet he was third-wheeling. Fate had deemed that it was just the three of them, not Peter....Peter wasn't hanging around them as much, must be in hiding...anyway. Maybe he shouldn't be here, but these idiots had to have someone to look after them, both Sirius and Remus were insecure, and he refused to leave.

Jordan and Jed immediately looked back at James and Sirius and separated hands, blushing.

"Hey...Erm, sorry guys...." James smiled.

"No, no, please....hey, Padfoot, you alright?" Jordan asked.

"No," Sirius said weakly.

"He's...in a bad place right now. He just came to get away."

"Well, get better soon," Jed scratched his neck, glancing at Jordan.

"Come on, mate, let's leave these two..." James gestured towards the stairs and Sirius started to climb down.

Jordan and Jed turned to look at eachother again and James smiled, "Oi, you two. Thanks."

"Thanks? Thanks for what?"

"Being here. Sirius probably needed to see this."

"Why?" Jordan asked.

"To admit to himself that he loves Professor Lupin," Jed said quietly.

"Well, yeah. See ya boys!" James disappeared as Jordan sent Jed a questioning look.

"Professor Padfoot loves Professor Lupin?"

"Padfoot knows he does, Lupin, on the other hand...well, he has no idea. You can tell from the look on his face, and Padfoot is heartbroken. He's frustrated and upset and mad with himself and wants Remus to understand but knows he can't just tell him because he won't get it."

"How do you know?" Jed looked into the sunset, smiling.

"I've been dealing with the same thing for years."