[Dinah Jane]
Fucking hell.
My life is so shitty Im surprised I have Normani. It was oure luck her mom put her into a school. The funny thing is that she wanted her to make some better friends other than me and I go to the school.
But at the moment I couldnt think. Normani had gone home with a smile on her face and I sat at the bridge. My favorite spot my dad used to take me to. He passed away because of a drug overdose.
It reminded me so much of Normanis situation.
The drugs seem to fucking take every light in my life.
Hell, they almost took Normani.
Fortunetly her mom beat the drugs to it.
Id rather have her alive than dead.
But when I had that feeling in my stomach. And found her crying her in her house. I couldve sworn that was the end. Ally had messed everything up. Normani had cut herself. As if she didnt already have enough problems with the Yin Fe.
I groaned as my own blade fell across my stomach. The pain easing my head a little. I wasnt proud of self harm. Never have been. But its the only way I can cope with my feelings after my dad died. Now I maybe found someone who will take that pain away. Who burns bright enough to light up the darkness.
And I might not even have her before its too late.
Our infinity is there, but its a flicker of light. Barely surviving. My mom went into depression after dad died and I have been supporting the family since. All 4 siblings. The cousins moved out because of my mom and I had no one to help me.
And now I was trying to balance Normani on that scale.
I loved her. I knew that since the first time I saw her. When I knew love at first sight really did exsist. She made it all possible to hope again. And I was thankful my mom didnt care that I was bi. If she had tried seperating us Id probably have said hell by now...
But I wouldntve.
Because Normani is worth all of it.
Her parents cant keep her from me. I will fight for her until the day my infinity comes to an end. But until then I will continue to love my girlfriend. The one I have wanted since I could remember. I sigh and stand up. My back aching. I begin to move off when someone catches my eye.
Siope.
My first boyfriend.
"I thought I might find you here." He said softly.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Heard you got a girlfriend."
"Yes."
"I happen to know shes a goner. Yin Fe? Discontinued." He said, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.
"Get away from me." I snap. I remember how he broke my heart. How I transfered schools and he broke everything off and disappeared off the face of the earth seemingly.
"Baby, dont be like that." His voice is quiet. Gentle.
"Ive changed. I like someone else now." I state firmly.
He holds a daisy in his hand. "But admit it. You still love me. You, me. We are endgame. I know that, you know that. Stop leading the poor girl on. She doesnt have many days left to live."
He picks off a petal. "She loves me."
"Siope, you left me heartbroken-"
"Because I knew you needed space. Because a long distance relashonship would wreck us. And I cant bear the thought without you." He picks off another petal. "She loves me not."
"So what? You think Im going to come crawling back to you? Siope I love Normani."
A tear slides down my eye because I can feel myself doubting.
What if she does die?
She will leave you heartbroken all over again.
She survives on a deadly drug.
It wont last.
Look at what is right in front of you!
"Yes. Because you love me." He picks another. "She loves me."
"Siope I cant. Ive moved on. You need to as well."
"She loves me not." He says with a frown. "But I know you. I know you dont let people go that easily. Tell me, have you told this girl what goes on in your life? She loves me."
I swallow hard.
He smiles with confidence. "I see. She cant be there for you because she has too much going on right? Well Im there for you. I can be there when she cant. I will be there." Another petal. "She loves me not."
"Siope I cant-"
"But you can." He says, his other hand cupping my face, wiping a tear from my eye. He plucks the final petal. "She loves me."
And then he kisses me.
I wish I could say I didnt kiss back.
But I cant.
