Tears stung my eyes and I began running out of the library. My vision blury. I made it through the rest of the day barely. My heart punding against my chest. Only seeing that small bitch with her arms wrapped around Dinahs neck.
My girlfriend.
With Ally.
I fiercly opened my door. My parents were out for the night for their anaversery. I was home alone. Not that I had ever tried it but maybe, just maybe, I could do it. I ran up my stairs, grabbing the small pocket knife my grandpa had given me before he passed away.
I sat on the bathroom floor. The blade in my hand, pressed against my wrist but nothing more.
"I love you."
Empty words.
"Girlfriend."
Cheater.
I felt the tears flood from my eyes. The knife pressing harder and harder into my skin. I dont want to admit the fact its a relief to feel the pain. Thats the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. Weather its physical or emotional....
My eyes hurt and my brain feels fuzzy. I dont even want to take any more of the stupid thing that ruined my fucking life. The one thing I had to help is gone now. Shes gone to me. She lied and killed the thing she had given me.
Hope.
With those thoughts I made a fine line across my wrist. Sighing at the relief. I scrape furiously at my arm now. Deeper and deeper.
I cough a little blood but grit my teeth. Without even caring I bring my knees to my chest. Heaving for the oxygen. I cry freely now. Ashamed of what Ive done. What Dinah could ever see in me is a mystery.
But then I feel soft familar hands on my arms.
"Oh Normani...."
Dinah.
"Go away." I say not even looking up.
"We have to get you cleaned up. Normani if anything happens to you-"
"No one will care." I finish.
"I will."
"Dont freakin lie to me anymore. Just go away."
She doesnt respond. Instead she forces my arm from its spot and begins cleaning it. Wrapping bandages around it. Then she carries me to my room. Grabbing clean clothes. Despite my efforts she is stronger and manages to strip me down to my underwear and bra. I dont even care though. She cleans off all the blood and dresses me. Then gives me my glass.
I shrug away from it. "No. I dont want any."
"Normani you dont know it but your speech is aweful."
That explains why I couldnt fight back well.
"You ch- cheee- ated on m- m- meee." I stammer.
I hear something break and look up for once.
Dinahs eyes are filled with anger and saddness. Her fist now bleeding because she punch an empty picture frame. I notice she is a mess. Her hair not brushed, clothes sloppy, shoes not even tied. I stand up and grab her wrist.
"What the hell?"
"Sorry." She mumbles.
I drag her to the bathroom and clean the cuts.
"You know she kissed me. Ally kissed mea nd Camila dragged you in."
"What were the rose petals for then?" I ask.
Dinah holds up a notecard. "It was attatched to the original batch of roses I got but Ally destroyed them."
I galnced at the card.
Will you go out with me?
I look back to my girlfriend. "Are you serious?"
She nodded. "It was suposed to be a romanitc walk on the bridge. The one with the little stream under it in the woods that has lillies on it."
"Dinah-"
"Its okay." She interupts. "You dont have-"
But I cut her off in a kiss. "Your amazing. Im sorry I shouldve let you explain."
Dinah grins. "The night is still young. How about that date?"
~~~~
Dinah drove me to the small town. Right before the forest behind it. We takea. Rough hike down and ai find the prettiest sight ever.
It wasnt a stream, more like a freaking lake.
The woods was huge with a silvery bridge going across the wide river.
Beautiful flowers danced on the surface.
Dinah had decorated the bridge in peonies, beautiful whites. She took my hand and led me to lean over it. The moon reflecting in the river. The bridge was fairly big with a nice drop to it.
Suicide.
But then I looked at Dinah and the word vanished. Seeing her eyes full of hope. I kissed her, breathing in everything.
"Your amazing." I said.
"Im just glad you gave me the chance."
I nod. "It was stupid of me to do that to you. To ever think you could love someone else."
"Oh but I will."
My throat feels dry.
She laughs. "She'll be small with your amazing eyes and big heart."
"Dinah." I stamer. "Are you talking about a daughter?"
"Or a son." She says tapping her chin thoughtfully.
A smile takes over my lips. I snuggle close to her. "Dont scare me like that ever again." I protest.
"But it was so cute to see your eyes widen then soften at my words." Dinah says pouting.
I give her a quick kiss. "Thats mean.
She giggles. "I love you. And only you. You know that right?"
I nod.
"Good." She sits down on the bridge and I pull into her. She begins singing softly. And before I know it Im lost in her voice. Drifting asleep.
