Irreplaceable

Chapter 26

Eva's POV

I lie in my bed staring up at the ceiling, my head pounding with a dull pain nowhere near as bad as the pain in my heart. I lie completely still thinking of nothing but somehow thinking of everything at the same time, my whole body feeling numb and drained.

It is easier I suppose, the pain just a dull ache but constantly there reminding me. What hurt me more was Shawn, in the few days I knew him he became my rock, the person I could rely on and somehow he broke my heart more than Noah, I expected him to care for me so much more, but I suppose I created my own heartbreak with the expectation of something that would never happen. I just fell for a person who wasn't ready to catch me.

It makes me sick to the stomach though, I fell for their stupid tricks. Both Shawn and Noah. But was Shawn really tricking me? He was with Lauren, of course he was.

Stupid me, thinking I'm in love. Now that I contemplate it, I don't think I even know what love is and maybe its one of those feelings that's so strong that I won't ever really know because it can come differently depending on who you're with and with some a love is more stronger and painful than it is with others. And it confuses me. Maybe I really don't know what love is, yet somehow I've been in love, or what I think is love? All I really know is that there are people I would never get tired of seeing, and hugs I would never get tired of having and smiles I would give anything to see. And that one person who I would give anything to be with, that his absence from my life is too hard to ignore. Shawn.

And by no means do I believe in love at first sight, personally I feel like theres no such thing there is only lust at first sight because the person that you first meet doesn't become the person you know. People change. I disliked Shawn when I first met him but what changed? I guess you just fall for the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

A knock on the door makes me jump slightly, but I stay put hoping that whoever it is goes away but they only become more persistent, knocking more frequently and more loudly. I jump off my bed and march over to the door, swinging it open angrily.

Noah. The sight of him only makes me angrier.

"What do you want?" I spit out.

"Oh come on, I flew all the way over just so I could come see you and I don't even deserve a hi?"

"You don't deserve anything from me Noah,"

"I came to fix things,"

"Too bad they're way too broken,"

"But-"

"And I threw them in the bin,"

"Eva stop talking in metaphors, threw what?"

"My feelings for you, my broken heart."

"Sweetheart I'm so sorry,"

"You don't get to call me that,"

"At least give me a chance to explain?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm stupid and you know that, and I-I-I never appreciated you enough, now I know I've lost you it made me realise how stupid I am."

"Glad you realised, anything else you want?"

"Please? Let me explain and if I still can't make you want to be my girlfriend then I'll be out of your way. Until then I won't stop bugging you."

I open my door a little further and step aside so he has room to enter which he accepts and perches himself on the end of my bed, everyone should have a chance to explain right? But Noah has had so many.