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( his smile is the most precious thing ever )
JAMES ALWAYS FELT GUILTY for losing the only girl that was actually down for him. The girl who stuck by his side for everything, no matter how terrible things were. The only girl who actually did love him.
He wouldn't be surprised if he found out that Natalia had a boyfriend. She was beautiful- she could easily have anyone she wanted, and anyone would want her too.
James was always afraid of that, but she had chosen him, and he somehow found a way to lose her. Maybe he was so afraid to lose her, that he didn't realize he was already losing her.
He knew that he was the only one to blame for them breaking up, and he wouldn't deny it. It all went back to the night where Bayern Munich called him and offered him a deal, for him to play for them- the night where they began to fall apart.
"So Bayern Munich offered me a deal, they want me to play for them," he told her, with a big smile.
"That's great," she answered, trying her best to sound excited but the truth was she wasn't at all.
"Look, you know that I don't have to go if you don't want me to. I can stay here for you," he sighed, as he grabbed her hand and fiddled with her fingers. "But here, at Real, I'm not getting time to play or ever will," he mumbled, knowing she clearly heard him.
James remembered everything so clearly, making her feel guilty when she shouldn't have. But at the time he was telling her everything he just expected for her to go with him like she always did.
"James, don't stay if you don't want too. You have to do everything for your career, everything including your happiness. I can't be in the way of anything," she said, looking up at his face.
"Are you willing to come with me?" James asked, without hesitation, thinking or assuming that the answer was a simple yes.
Natalia looked down, his gaze now being on her small hands. She sat there quietly, without a single noise leaving her lips. He felt that the silence was enough to answer his question.
"You don't want to come with me?" James asked, almost sounding hurt as he furrowed his brows. It wasn't like he had asked her a complicated or hard question, he thought.
"James... I don't really know-"
"What do you mean you don't know? You're really thinking about it?" He said, being somewhat harsh but he still remained calm. "I thought you said you would support me through everything," he said much calmly, acting as if it wasn't a big deal, but it was to him.
He would be lying if it didn't hurt like hell that she was considering it, instead of immediately agreeing to it.
"And I am-"
"No your not! If you did, you wouldn't hesitate on coming with me. You know that if you were the one leaving, I wouldn't hesitate about going with you, because all that would matter was being with you," he exclaimed, beginning to feel angry. "But you don't seem to think the same way," James scoffed.
"Look I'm honestly a bit tired of moving to a different country almost every single year, I sound stupid, I know. But I never get the chance to make friends, to actually get used to the where I'm living. I have you but you're gone for practice or games most of the time, and I'm all alone."
"I don't blame you because it's your career, your lifestyle, but this isn't my lifestyle, James. It's your career, it's your life, you can do whatever you want with it, I understand. But this isn't what I want, and neither should I be the person stopping you from leaving," she answered, being much calmer than James.
"For once, I've felt at home here in Madrid. For now, Madrid- Spain is my home, James," She sighed, looking into his soft brown eyes mixed with anger.
"Madrid isn't your home Natalia, Colombia is. Cúcuta is our actual home!"
They stood there in silence, no one daring to say a word because they knew if they said anything else, this situation could end up even worst.
"Look I'll call you if I accept the Bayern offer, alright?" James sighed, not looking at her.
Natalia called him for weeks, she texted him, but he never answered any of her calls or texts. She stopped calling him, she gave up on trying to reach James- all she wanted was to fix everything between them, but they both knew that this was the end for them.
In fact, he never really told her he was leaving. She found out through the media, like the rest of the world had. She didn't know what was worst, the fact that he never told her or that he had been hanging out with some friend.
Everyone assumedthat they had broken up because they thought James was too sweet to cheat and thought was just having fun after his 'break up'- but that wasn't anywhere near the truth.
The day before James was supposed to leave, he showed up at Natalia's apartment- since they decided that if they ever were to get married they would actually move in together, but that wasn't happening anytime soon.
Natalia had just shut her door when she turned around to be faced with James. She walked right passed him, acting as if she hadn't seen him.
"Nata, wait, don't leave!" James said as he ran to catch up with her. When he realized she wouldn't stop walking away from him, he grabbed her arm.
Only to immediately pulled back, "Don't touch me!" She almost shouted. "Don't touch me, please," she muttered, not wanting to make a scene.
"Look, Natalia, I just want to ask you one last time if you want-"
She cut him off by laughing, "To go to Germany with? Are you serious? Did you really think that I would go with you after all this?"
"James, you ignored me for weeks, and for a while, I thought this was all my fault. For you leaving me to be with someone else better, for not telling me you were leaving. But it isn't," she sighed.
"This isn't you. Or maybe I never met this side of you. This isn't the sweet and innocent James I met so many years ago, this isn't my James," she admitted. "You want your damn answer? No, I won't leave with you. Good luck in Germany, James, because you deserve the best," Natalia mumbled before turning around and leaving.
Leaving him there alone, and leaving his life forever, or so he thought.
✧
so like i feel this was really over-dramatic lol, i don't imagine james doing this ever but just for the story.
