Trying Hard to Ignore You

"Look at you!"

I emerge from the bedroom an hour after Spencer leaves, at eleven thirty or so. Ashton showed up at six.

"Why did Spencer leave?" Mum asks.

I just shake my head.

"What happened?" Kendall looks worried. "Did you guys fight?"

I shake my head again.

"Well?" Emily asks. "What is it? He was supposed to stay the night, plus, he left his keys." She points to Spencer's keys on my coffee table.

If the keys to his truck are here still, then where is my boyfriend?

Concerned, I open the apartment door and walk outside.

He's sitting across the hall.

I shut the door.

"What are you doing?"

He shrugs.

I walk over to him.

"What's the matter?" I ask. He shrugs again. "Spencer, baby, please talk to me."

He raises his eyes to mine.

"I took you." He whispers. "I took a part of you that you made clear you didn't want taken until marriage. I took advantage."

"What? No love, no you didn't." I say, crouching in front of him.

"Yes. I pulled you on top of me and I touched you."

"And I let you do it. I'm not upset hun, I'm okay. If I wanted you to stop, I'd have pulled away."

"But you did, and then we started kissing again, and I didn't-"

"You stopped us." I say, putting my hand on his knee. "You stopped us. You didn't go against anything."

"I didn't?" He asks.

"No love, you didn't."

"Okay." He says after a bit. "Okay."

"Okay?" I ask.

"Okay." He nods.

"Why didn't you get your keys baby?" I ask, brushing a curl back.

"I couldn't bring myself to walk back in there."

"Will you?" I ask. "Walk back in, I mean. I want to have a sleepover."

His eyes study mine, and after hesitating, he nods.

"Okay."

He stands up and holds his hand down. I take it, and he pulls me to my feet, as if I weigh nothing.

He follows me back in the house, and nobody questions us.

"I thought of a sleeping arrangement." Mum says. "Ethan and Kendall get the guest room, I get the blowup, Emily gets the couch, and you and Spencer get your bed."

Sleeping in the same bed with Spencer?

I hesitate.

"Alright." I say.

"Well we should get to bed. We have an early morning." Kendall says to Ethan, standing up.

Nodding, he follows her across the apartment.

Mum goes into the bathroom, and Emily starts getting a blanket from the closet.

I grab Spencer's hand and pull him to my bedroom, shutting the door.

He just stands there.

"It's okay." I say. "Really."

He nods.