Trying Hard to Ignore You

Jealousy

I wake up to a gentle stirring on my chest.

I fell asleep with George on my chest, and he's moving his head. He lets out a soft cry, and then starts crying. I rub my face with my hands, sitting up, holding him. Everyone is watching as I check his diaper.

"He's hungry." Kendall stands up. When she holds her hands out, I hold him closer to me.

"I want to do it." I say.

"Audrey, you don't have the materials." She says, gesturing to her chest.

"Oh." I look down at George, and reluctantly, I hand him to Kendall.

I want the materials.

Why does she get to have the baby and I don't?

She gets say. She can say if I get George back after she feeds him. She can say who holds him and when.

She can hog him to herself, because he's hers to hog.

I want that right.

Pouting, I wait until she's done, and the moment he's detached from the nipple, I get up and snatch him out of her hands.

"Audrey!" She says.

"What?" I ask. "You can have him whenever."

"Stop stealing my baby and make your own." She laughs. "He needs burped, give him back."

"I'll do it." I say.

I hold him so he's face down, my right arm holding him across his chest and grabbing between his legs, my left hand patting his belly until he burps.

How cute. That's so cute.

Smiling, I turn him back so he's laying on my legs looking up at me. He starts to cry again, so I check his diaper and he peed.

I pick him up and grab his diaper bag, walking out of the room.

I change him in the formal living room, and then I bring him back into the living room.

"Are you guys going to have children?" Kendall asks Spencer. "Because your wife is stealing my baby."

"Eventually." Spencer says, smiling.

I cradle George until he falls back to sleep.

"Are you going to let me have him?" Emily asks. "He's my nephew too."

"I don't..." I bite my lip. "No. He's sleeping."

Ethan stands up and takes George from my arms.

"You're hogging him." He says, handing him to Emily.

I sit back, folding my arms across my chest.

I want him back.

I glare at my sister, who I'm good with now, until she's done, and she gives him to Kendall.

"I," I start.

"Don't start with me." She says.

"You're going to come here and stay with me and-" I gasp. "I'll babysit while you house hunt!" I exclaim.

"Audrey, your work sweetie." Spencer says.

Fuck.

***

The more I thought about how happy George makes me, the more I wanted to keep him.

Kendall and Ethan are in a bedroom down the hall and George is in the portable crib in the room next to theirs. Spencer and I are in bed and I'm reading and he's on his phone. I close my book.