Trying Hard to Ignore You

I want my baby.

We had the gender reveal for Kendall a week later, and they're having another boy.

My baby Declan is supposed to be swallowing and breathing and kicking and sucking a lot this week to practice for when he comes out. I'm thirty three weeks, Kendall is thirty two.

I've been having a lot of Braxton hicks which is normal. It's just my body preparing to labor.

My belly is huge and I've been waddling. He's as big as a pineapple now.

And I've wanted a lot of sex, which Spencer is overjoyed to give me. It's hard to get comfortable to sleep, and while Declan sleeps a lot, he seems to like sleeping during the day and not at night, so around two in the morning, he will wake me up with his kicks.

The nursery is all set up. We painted it light color, like a mix between coffee and gray. It has a tannish white carpet. There's a white crib, a white dresser and a gray and white striped rug. We have the changing pad on top of the dresser. There's a lamp next to the crib, and a stuffed giraffe that can stand up. There's a wicker basket hamper next to the crib with a lamp on that side, too. We put white curtains over the door to his balcony. There's a trash next to his dresser, a small bookshelf, a lamp, and a shelf above it. Also, there's two small baskets on top of the dresser, one of which holding diaper cream and diapers and the other holding only diapers. We need to add a rocking chair.

I just want my baby to come. I want the next month to pass quickly so I can hold my baby.

It's June now. The snow had dried, and everyone is at our house to swim. I'm just sitting in the pool at the steps watching the guys play sports.

My stomach keeps tightening every now and again. Right now, Declan is moving a lot. My stomach keeps jutting out randomly. I poke the spot that's sticking out and he moves, sticking it out again. I press down on a spot, and he squirms. I smile.

I wanna hold him so bad. Ethan and Spencer are playing with George in the pool. He's past one now. I had my shower and so did Kendall. I got a ton of stuff but Kendall didn't because she can just use what she used from George.

We have a portable crib already up and set in the study next to the living room, we have a swing in the living room, and a car seat for both cars.

Spencer keeps telling me I should think about getting a new car.

The Jeep is old and breaks down a lot.

I know he's right. It's the rainy season and then after that it's going to be fall and it will get chilly and he will be just a small baby.

I need a car that can keep my son warm.

I'm on my phone.

I need an SUV. I refuse to get a sedan. Spencer has the Ram truck and his truck is only five years old. It only had like fifty thousand miles on it and it's in tip top shape. It's got seating for the baby and enough room for the other kid.

I want a seven seat SUV so when I have four more kids, I can keep my car.

I told him I won't get a van, like a caravan, and I won't get a ford.

What about Volvo?

I google Volvo SUV and go to images.

The first car I see is sexy as shit and it's black. I click on it.

Volvo XC90

I google VolvoXC90 2008 reviews and people are saying the backseats are too tight.

I close the page and open google.

I'm not getting that car. I just want Declan to be comfortable.

Maybe Toyota. Spencer has been telling me Toyota or Honda is really good. I google toyota suv 2008