Hetalia Fairy Tales

Disney's Little Mermaid Part 14

"Oh, very amusing." Berwald said a bit annoyed before he relaxed again,"Tina, my dear, what's for dinner?"

Everyone: so that's why Finland has this part!

"Oooh, you're gonna love it. Chef's been fixing his specialty, stuffed crab." Tina said excitedly.
Meanwhile, Arthur had woken up and hid behind a jar. He watched as the Frenchmen hummed as he pulled out bowls and cooking tools.
"Les poissons
Les poissons
How I love les poissons
Love to chop
And to serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out the bones
Ah mais oui
Ca c'est toujours delish
Les poissons
Les poissons
Hee hee hee
Hah hah hah
With the cleaver I hack them in two
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried
God, I love little fishes
Don't you?" Francis sang as he cut up fish and fried them. Arthur thought he was gonna be sick.
"Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet
Then you slash through the skin
Give the belly a slice
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause that makes it taste nice." Francis sang as he prepared another fish. Arthur grabbed a lettuce leaf and began to walk across the counter. It was then Francis noticed the leaf on the counter and lifted it up. The terrified Arthur hid inside his shell just in time before Francis picked him up.

England: I am not scared of that frog!

France: oh really? Than why were you shaking like a leaf?

England: shut up!

"Zut alors, I have missed one!" Francis announced as he look at Arthur.
"Sacre bleu
What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab?
Quel dommage
What a loss
Here we go in the sauce." Francis went on as he threw him in a bowl of sauce. Arthur swished around in the bowl not at all knowing how he was gonna get out of this.
"Now some flour, I think
Just a dab
Now I stuff you with bread
It don't hurt 'cause you're dead." Francis threw in some flour and stuffed bread into Arthur's shell. Once Francis looked away Arthur immediately spit it out and coughed up flour. 
"And you're certainly lucky you are
'Cause it's gonna be hot
In my big silver pot
Toodle loo mon poisson
Au revoir!" Francis sang as as he threw Arthur into the pot. As the chef walked away, Arthur clung to the sides with his claws. He barely caught himself before hitting the boiling water. He flung himself out onto the counter and Francis looked back over confused. The Frenchmen walked over and picked Arthur up with....

Me: France... what are those called?

France: a carving fork.

England: did you really need to stop the story to ask that?! You could have just described it!

Me: be quiet!

...a carving fork. Arthur hid back in his shell as Francis brought him close to his face.
"What is this?" Francis asked as he looked at Arthur closely before Arthur picked him right on the nose. Francis screamed in pain and flung Arthur into the air. The crab landed on the stove and Francis tried to grab him. Arthur moved just in time so the Frenchmen hit a hot pan instead.
A scream of pain echoed through the kitchen as Arthur jumped down to the floor. Francis snatched knives from the counter and began to throw them at Arthur.

England and France's kid: everyday....

France and England: we are not this bad... *look terrified that they agreed and took a step away from each other*

Belarus: knives are my thing....

Arthur was met with a butchering knife that stopped just in front of him. More knives came raining down as he slid under a counter. The Frenchmen, now mad as hell, snatched an even larger knife, and slashed all the way through the counter! Only to fine the crab not there.
Arthur ran to hide inside a massive cabinet on the other side of the room. Francis however caught sight of him and charged at the cabinet.

Europe: this was everyday for them for like a few hundred years.

France: not true!

England: well... I don't mind... cause I win in the end! In both the story and real life!

France: at least I'm not the black sheep of Europe!

England: stop calling me that!

Meanwhile, out in the dinning room a loud crash is heard. Tina cringed and smiled nervously.
"I think I'd better go see what Francis is up to." Tina said as she left the room for the kitchen.
The kitchen is now a disaster with things on fire as Francis continues to look for Arthur. He gets down on his knees and looks under a shelf.
"Come out you little pipsqueak and fight like a man!" Francis yelled as Tina entered the room.

England: sorry Frenchy! I'm a crab. *mike drop*

"Francis!" Tina yelled and Francis banged his head on the shelf,"What are you doing?"
"Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, madame." Francis said with a nervous smile as he put out a small flame in his hair. Tina glared at him and growled before leaving with the covered dishes.
Meanwhile, back in the dinning room, Matthias was lost in his own world again. Tina came in and set the plates down before them.
"You know, Matthias, perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Berwald said bringing Matthias back to reality.
"I'm sorry, Berwald, what was that?" Matthias asked as he turned to look at his advisor.
"You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life." Berwald said with a little bit of ordering at the end. Matthias gave him a slight glare as Berwald absentmindedly lifted the cover off his plate. Sunniva stared wide eyed as she saw Arthur cowering among the salad.
"Get your mind off -" Berwald started to continue, but Matthias cut him off.
"Easy, Berwald, Easy." Matthias said as Sunniva lifted the cover off her plate. She signaled with her hand for Arthur to come over. When neither Berwald or Matthias were looking, Arthur scurried across the table and on her plate.
"It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." Matthias said before turning to Sunniva. She closed the cover quickly and leaned heavily on it.
"Well - whaddaya say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Matthias asked and Sunnica nodded happily with a large smile.
"Wonderful, now let's eat, before this crab wanders off my plate." Berwald said as he aimed his fork where the crab should have been. His fork touched the plate and Berwald looked down in shock at his empty plate.