It is already evening when I open my Facebook again. He sent me a message!
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Maybe Yugyeom is right about me being sad. Because after reading that, I find myself crying. I'm really glad that I found a friend like him. It really touched my heart that he thought of me as someone that special. Come on, it's rare to find someone who would want to spend the last day of your life with you. But he said he would choose to make me happy. As if I'm the one leaving and not him.
I suddenly remembered the time he stopped me from killing myself. He had always been there. Why look for a lover who will die for you when you can have a friend who will plead you to live for yourself?
"Are you two..." Ms. Lyra let the question linger but I know what she means.
"No, ma'am," I answer with a smile.
I can see how she looks at Yugyeom and I when we talk. We're seatmates and directly in front of her table. She likes talking to us when the class is in idle.
"But is he... courting you?"
"No."
"That can't be true. You can't be just friends."
"But why not?"
"I've been there. There's no such thing as pure friendship between a girl and a boy. Either you like each other or it's a one-sided love."
I want to tell her that there is actually pure friendship between us. We are just friends. But I choose not to answer.
"I saw the way he looks at you and you at him. What happened?"
"I guess not everything we try works," I answer simply.
"But you still..."
"I don't know ma'am."
She nods and looks at Gyeommie. I follow her eyes.
"He acts like a kid. It suits your serious personality," she comments.
Ironically, I was the one who acted like kid that's why we didn't end up together. Life sure is a wheel.
"He gave you his jacket," she points out to the cloth draped over my shoulders.
"I get cold easily," I shrug but she shakes her head as if she can't understand me.
"Why are you convincing yourself?"
"Huh?"
"Are you dense or what?"
"I don't understand."
"Did you see how he reacted when I joked that you don't look good as partners? I meant it for the project but he thought it's something else. He practically glared at me!"
"I didn't know. Ma'am, you're confusing me."
"Why are you confused? Just now, you were so sure that you're justfriends. It's your head. No one knows what's inside it except you."
