How to Fart in Public and Retain your image.
To fart in public is interesting but if you are caught, it can be very embarrassing. So, just follow these guidelines & you are on your way to being a star in this profession.
1. When you enter a hall, check the wind direction, if it's a closed hall with AC, better. Maximum impact.
2. Make sure you face the wind direction.
3. Make sure you have enough leg space. You will soon know why.
4. Form Ajebor by crossing your legs every now & then.
5. You are ready to execute, try holding it in till the hall becomes noisy in case your fart is the type that sounds like AK47.
6. Now carefully cross your leg, right over left.
7. Elevate the right butt.
8. Release small (sound check)
9. If no sound, allow the fart flow steady.
10. Allow time for proper circulation.
NOTE:
1. Make sure you are not the first person to complain.
2. When people start to shout “Chai!!! E no go better for the person wey do dis kind thing, ” simply contribute by asking “why the person way mess no go respect the presence of others?”
3. Do not complain more than others or you’ll become a suspect.
4. Quietly leave the area and relocate to another zone then repeat the exercise!
Good luck!!!
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