Trapped by Emotions

Love vs. Friendship

It was a horrible morning, two days had passed since that night and I woke up in pain once more, but I wasn't crying, not even a bit, although it was really sad, I also had a nightmare, but it wasn't about Rosalie, it was about me being trapped by some illusions or hallucinations, I don't really remember, I forget most most of my dreams, dreams cannot be controlled, at least I believe so. Anyways, I had slept only for 5 hours and woke up, it was half seven in the morning and everyone at home was still asleep. I was haunted by that image of Rosalie the whole time and also by the thought about what kind of a person was she, she was kind of a slut and that really hurt me, as I found out about her «playing» with all kinds of men, but I guess that was because of her past, she is really one unhappy soul that grew up without a proper childhood, as her father was mistreating her as a small kid and had only her mother at her side to introduce her and lead her through «life» and of course, she was with a bad company when she came here – Trixie, she turned Rosalie into this in some way, but Rosalie never found «herself», when I was thinking about her and when I spoke to her, she seemed to me as a young, poor soul that just needs attention, care and someone who would be able to make her «happy», I let a few tears thinking about all that since all of us deserve at least a proper childhood and happiness as kids, we all deserve both of our parents and all the love they can give us, that's all that one child needs and Rosalie didn't have that, but then again, if she had, she would've never come here, she would live far away from me and everyone of us. Unfortunately, I didn't know if I am right about everything I said about Rosalie here, but it was like that from my perspective. I was confident that I am right, but I don't know even today and I don't know if I'll ever find out if I was right about Rosalie. However, at that time, I wanted her far away from my life, she entered a relationship with Harry that night, I pretended that I was all right, I never said anything about my feelings to her, as a matter of fact, I didn't want to have any feelings for her, but I couldn't fight back my emotions, it was stronger than me, I wish it wasn't every day of my life since that night. I had made a decision that morning that from now on I would try to get close to Rosalie, become her best friend and some kind of her guardian angel, I know that Harry didn't love her, he tried to, but it was his first relationship and as he was my best friend, I knew him very well and I knew that he wouldn't handle it properly, especially a girl like Rosalie. That morning as I logged on to my facebook profile, I tried to neglect that Harry's changed relationship status and I just wrote him a message of «congratulations» and of course, to Rosalie too, I also said a few good words for Harry to her and she thanked me, I wanted to see her that afternoon and I asked Tom to come with me, I said to him that I liked Rosalie, but that I was happy that she had entered a relationship with Harry, it was as if he knew that I was lying, but he didn't want to say anything, it didn't matter to me, I wasn't interested in what he was thinking.

Upon arriving at her house, her mother Dianna opened the door, she was a very nice and wise lady, she was also quite funny, I realized she was a mother that you can only dream of, unlike her stepfather who was always grouchy and fierce as I noticed, but I respected him as Rosalie's stepfather, because I guess I didn't have any choice. That day Tom and Trixie were in a fight as they were messaging, since Tom cheated on her, I didn't really care, but if I need to say anything, I was more happy than sad about it, however, Rosalie was sad, so I pretended to be sad too. We hugged as she welcomed us in her house, they had a bunch of kids there, as Rosalie had two younger sisters, well actually one sister and one stepsister and a stepbrother. It was noisy in the living room, so we went to Rosalie's room, she was asking about Harry, I immediately replied that we had no idea where he is and that he was probably at home recovering from the hangover. Tom was very mad because of his disturbed relationship with Trixie, so he just went home and said goodbye hastily as he was leaving the room. That was my perfect chance to get to know Rosalie a little better, I became close to her and we were talking about many things, she said that she had noticed that Harry isn't really a romantic guy, I agreed, although I wasn't sure if that was a clever move talking like that about him, but I guess it was obvious that he knew nothing about romance. She said to me that she was really sad because Harry and she entered a relationship at this time, as she needed to go to her father for a week time and she won't be able to see neither us, nor Harry. I said that it's ok and gave her a hug, she said that I was sweet and thanked me for everything. Then her stepfather entered the room and started yelling at her to clean the room because it was in a mess. It was rude of him, but I can't say that he wasn't right, as it was really a mess, but I didn't say that out loud, because I was afraid that Rosalie would feel bad, so I just went home and hugged Rosalie on our goodbye that day. As I returned home, I got a call on skype, it was Jane, Harry's sister, but as I answered the call, I realized it was Harry using her profile because he didn't have his own. We were talking about Rosalie a bit and actually everything since we always talk about everything, we talked for hours, our conversations used to be very long at that time. He confessed to me that he didn't love Rosalie, neither did he have any serious plans with her, but that he entered a relationship since he wanted to see how it is and he considered her «pretty», but a bottle of beer or a flask of any kind of alcoholic drink was always his best friend and only «love», excluding music. He was my best friend, but we all know and he himself that women are not his game, nor his interest. The next morning, Rosalie departed and was on her way to her father, Tom and I came to say goodbye and of course, Harry, who was the one that she was actually looking for the most, didn't come. Marty was also that morning on his way back to New York, as the college was starting in one month time, but the airport was far away and I didn't have time to come all the way there, he also became a good friend with Rosalie during that music festival, but that was expected since he was all girly and Rosalie finished a beauty school for a beautician and he was really eager to come and say goodbye to her in person, but he was prevented. Anyways, Marty and I just said goodbye to each other through the facebook message. After we escorted Rosalie, Tom and I went to coffee at the coffee shop located there at the bus station and of course, we saw Harry as he was arriving, late as always, so he just joined us, I wasn't angry at him, nor was Tom, but we explained to him that «love» was not that simple as he considered it was. I think he never understood what we said to him...