Trapped by Emotions

Christmas Love Spirit

As I woke up that Christmas Eve, I just didn't want to stand up from my bed, I wanted my slumber to continue for eternity and then one day, to awake in a whole new world where everything is peaceful and without any problems unlike the world we all live in. People with problems aren't the one who should be blamed for every problem they have, some problems actually are caused by external force unfortunately. As a matter of fact, the life we all live, what's it worth, we are going to get through it and then what? In the end we'll all die and it is all going to end as if we had never existed, especially if we hadn't done anything specific in our life. What is the meaning of life, are we here for a reason? I guess that's an eternal question.

That morning, I was just lying in my bed and thinking about life, about all the situations, for example why Tom was so frustrated when I was discussing with him and condemned him because of his behaviour, why didn't he proceed calmly to the situation and discuss the matter in a proper way, he didn't seem like a bad tempered and aggressive person, but then I remembered Trixie of course and that he had changed because of her, but it was still all entangled. Just the thought about that people would have made me mad, but still they felt greater hate than I did, it could have been seen in their eyes as I met them on the street, that pure hate against someone, one wrong move and Tom would get in a fight with me for sure. I tried to control my emotions, but those people were just wrong, I couldn't believe how deeply Tom had managed to fall in my eyes, a man I once considered a friend, one of my best friends to become my worst enemy, it was a disaster. Losing a friend is something like breaking up in relationships, sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn't, depends on how much the person was worth to you.

 Anyways, as I decided to stand up, it was already lunch time and my mother prepared a cod for lunch, just like every Christmas Eve, I had also noticed a present for me under our christmas tree during the lunch, it was probably something simple, but I was always grateful no matter what I got, unlike my brother and sister, even if I hadn't got anything, I wouldn't get mad. Charlotte would always complain if she gets something simple like chocolate, pendant, sweets or something like that, it would really annoy me, but I tried to ignore her ingratitude. As I finished lunch, my phone rang, it was Rosalie, she asked me if I could pick her up at the hairdresser's just down the street and then we would go to coffee. I told her that I would come, but since it was Christmas Eve, I wondered what I could get her for Christmas, I didn't really have much money, but I guessed she would be happy with some chocolate and I had decided to write a song for her, it would have been my first song I had written for her, but I had some talent for writing songs since I was always into music. I was sure that Rosalie would like what I had written for her. The song I had written for her was kind of special, although I was never a romantic type of person, I actually liked this song pretty much, it went like this:

Lost in my thoughts

Thoughts deep and bright

Thinking about you

All day and night

Sweety, you're my everything

You're all over my head

Without you I am nothing

I would rather be dead

Baby, you're like a blessing

Given from above

I hope you're never ending

Just like my love

Nothing can take you from me

Not even death

I'm going with you

Going, until my last breath

I thought it was a very sweet song, at that time at least, I even thought of a melody and played it on the guitar, I also sang the song, but since I didn't know how to sing, it sounded pretty bad, but still, it was from the heart and I couldn't care less about my voice, but as a matter of fact, Rosalie considered me a good singer and I think that she wasn't lying since I couldn't care less, even if she said that I really was a bad singer.

As I got to her, she told me that she had got me a christmas present and that I would like it very much, I believed her since she knew me very well and she knew what I like and what I don't like. So, after I met with her, we went to her place and spent the whole afternoon there. «Home alone» was on the TV so we watched it and Rosalie offered me with some cakes and biscuits she had baked for Christmas, I tried some and they were fantastic. I praised her baking skills, she was really an expert in that. As the time passed, it was late and I decided to go home and of course, Rosalie's stepfather hated company, so that was also one of the reasons why I had decided to leave, but Rosalie and I really had a lovely time together.

As I came home, I ate some more cakes and went to sleep. I always put on a little weight during the winter holidays since I eat more and train less, but it doesn't bother me, I like food and I like sweets, furthermore, it's only once a year, so no harm made. Next morning, I woke up quite early since I also went to sleep earlier, I opened my present and I got some chocolate praline and a perfume. Everyone had already been awake when I opened my present so I asked them what they had gotten. My father got a new shirt and also a perfume, Charlotte got an owl pendant and some chocolate, while my little brother Pan got some board game for children and some of his favourite cartoon shows dvd's. Charlotte was of course, disappointed with her gift, but she was acting «cool». Everyone knew she wanted a new mobile phone, which was a very selfish thing to ask and moreover, she didn't even deserve it. My mother got a pair of panties and socks, everyone laughed at her present and then we had a great breakfast with literally feast at the table, salami, cheese, pickles, ham, olives etc. As I finished eating, I checked my facebook and there were four messages, from Rosalie, Harry, Freddy and Percy wishing me a «Merry Christmas!» so I replied the same way.

As some time had passed, I went to Rosalie to give her my presents, she was more then happy when she got it, especially with a song and then she hugged me and presented me with mine, she bought me a video game, a chocolate and a homemade liqueur in a guitar shaped bottle, I was very delighted, then we spent the whole rest of the day in a pleasant atmosphere, eating cookies and watching christmas movies on the TV, trying to forget about our problems, at least in these times of love and peace.