Trapped by Emotions

Lovers = Fighters

A week had passed since my fight with Rosalie. Luckily, I caught a flu two days after I broke up with her. That way, it was much easier to handle all that. Furthermore, I had some fun from time to time with Harry and Tony on skype, it really decreased my pain. Rosalie was sending messages to me on facebook, really sad messages, full of crying faces and hearts, also, a lot of people contacted me on facebook with messages like «What has happened?», «Are you two ok?», «What's wrong with Rosalie?» etc. Then I realized that I still loved her, but I acted cold and uninterested for her, since I couldn't be with someone who hurt me behind my back that bad, I felt heartbroken, but I sensed that she still loved me. She told me that she would stop hanging out with everyone I ask and begged me to be with her again, she was ready to do anything: hurt herself, leave all her friends, leave her family, cry day and night in front of my door etc. I told her that I would be with her again if she leaves Trixie and Tom forever for good and I told her that she would never go out without me if she wished me to be with her again. She accepted without hesitating. I was in a great conflict of emotions – you can say that I was trapped by emotions. Everything that was important now was that trust that every person in a relationship needs to have, trust has to exist between the partners in every relationship, it's the most important thing, not proof, just trust, you mustn't trust anyone except your beloved one, if you believe him that is the end of the story, in that case, nobody can ruin your relationship whatever he tries except you and your partner yourselves. Some people say that trust is even more important than love itself.

That Saturday, I was already feeling better and the flu was already passing. I went back to the apartment where Rosalie and I were staying. She was waiting for me in tears and hugged me immediately as I entered the apartment. I didn't want to kiss her. Then she became serious and told me that she was about to meet with Tom, Trixie, Freddy and Ian that afternoon and that she would leave them that evening, forever. I was delighted to hear that, but of course, even a little worried since I didn't believe that she would be strong enough to do such a thing, but I had hoped. Hope was actually the only thing I could have in that kind of situation... Then came the afternoon and she went to meet with them, I was worried, I put on my headphones, turned on the music on my computer and tried to get over that feeling. I was very angry and afraid. I couldn't wait for the moment for it all to finally end. Some time had passed and it started raining cats and dogs, all my windows were covered in raindrops and all I saw through them was lightning, it was really bad, Rosalie used to cry when she would encounter that kind of weather. The night felt so long and it was only 9:15 p.m. Shortly after, I heard a doorbell, my heart skipped a beat and as I opened, there was just a pizza guy standing there with my pizza I ordered an hour ago since I was really a bad cook. I payed him and thanked. Well, I felt disappointed that it wasn't Rosalie on the door, but at least I had pizza now. It was a pizza with a lot of cheese and tuna, my favourite. So, as I was eating, I heard a doorbell once more. It was Rosalie all wet, covered in tears and raindrops, I couldn't discern what was the tear and what a raindrop, I took of her jacket and brought her a towel along with the blanket and told her to sit down on the couch. I offered her some pizza, but she told me through tears that she had lost her appetite. I told her to stop crying and that those bastards were not worth her tears. She told me that it was them who told her to go away and that they called her «Deim's doggy» and Trixie called her a «bitch». Well, I didn't care really much about what they said to her and I was actually even glad that it wasn't her who did that step, I knew that she was a weakling and I couldn't be more happy, because Trixie called her a «bitch». Now I know that she got rid of them forever. I felt indescribably happy, although it wasn't really something to be happy about, as if I was a psychopath, everything I felt was hatred and disgust for that people at that moment, but I guess there's really nothing else I could feel against that kind of people. I was disappointed with them and that's what happens when someone who used to be your «friend», your part of the «dream team» disappoints you and treat you as if you had never even known each other, as if you were in a deathmatch, like some kind of mortal enemies trying to destroy each other. We should have known better than that, but unfortunately we were still young. Furthermore, they had never really been up for a conversation.