Rick and Morty One-Shots

Rick X Reader-Bar

I sat in the bar in boredom. I wanted to take a break from exploring other dimensions so I came here to loosen up a bit with some alcohol. I was in a different dimension so I don't really expect any humans to be here, all I see are aliens and many other species.

"Here is your drink ma'am." The bartender said.

"Thank you." I said.

"No problem."

I drank (favorite alcohol drink) and I let the flavor burn in my mouth. The drink satisfied me and I felt more calm and loose.

I turned around to see a tall man plop on a seat next to me. He looked old, he had blue-grayish hair, he was skinny, and he was good-looking. He had green liquid dripping down his mouth. He was definitely drunk.

"H-Hey pretty lady. Wh-Wh-What's your- *burp* name?"

"(Y/N). What's yours?"

"My name's Rick. H-Hey are you a- *burp* s-scientist?"

"Yes I am. Are you?"

"W-Well d-duh, w-why do you think I'm at an alien bar?"

I shrugged. "I dunno."

"W-Wanna have sex?"

"Um, what?"

"*burp* I have a big d*ck."

"O-Oh."

"O-O-One time I a-almost killed my g-g-grandson with my knife b-because *burp* I thought he was a-a simulator."

"Oh . . . Ok."

"Y-Y-You-Don't judge me. I-I know t-that you've done worse probably."

"Yeah, that's kinda true."

"T-Tell me about yo-*burp*-urself."

"Um, one time I *insert bad-a*s story about you here* and yeah."

Rick clapped. "W-W-Wow. Incredible."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"*burp* F*ck you."

"What?"

"Wubba Lubba dub dub."

"I think you should stop drink alcohol-"

"D-Don't tell me what to do l-lady. I do w-whatever the f*ck I want b*tch."

"Whoa chill your tits."

"I-I don't have any-*burp* but I'd like to chill on yours."

An hour later we were both very drunk and we had loads of fun. He drove me in his spaceship and we were soon on his bed sleeping. (Nothing happened but making out unless you want that "thing" to happen)

I woke up and I saw Rick's arms wrapped around my waist. His head rested on my boobs.

"This pillow is so comfy." He mumbled as he pressed his face more against my boobs.

His eyes soon opened and he looked at me and our position. He stared at my face and my boobs. Rick let go of me and we both sat up.

"Oh, it looks like I really did chill on your boobs after all." He said casually.

"W-Wait, you still remember everything that happened last night even after all of the alcohol you drank?"

He scratched his head. "Well, yeah. I usually forget everything the next day though. I probably didn't drink much last night."

"Dude, you drank like 28 bottles last night."

"Really? Oh, I usually drink over 30 bottles."

"Oh wow."

"Yep."

"So . . . Do you know the way back to my home?"

"Well where do you live?"

"I'm from C-137."

"Same here."

"Where do you live?"

"(State/neighborhood name)"

"Same."

He opened the garage and you found out you were a couple streets away from his house.

"Wow, what a coincidence." I said in surprise.

"Yeah."

"Hey, did we do anything last night?"

"Um, we probably had sex."

"What?!"

"What? Who wouldn't want sex with me? I have big d*ck."

"Ok too much information."

He shrugged.

We ate breakfast and brushed out teeth and stuff. I tripped on something and I landed on Rick.

"S-Sorry." I apologized.

We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and soon we were making out with each other. His lips were soft and he kissed me roughly in lust. He brought me on his bed and we continued kissing each other.

"You're-You're a good kisser (Y/N)." He said as he continued to kiss me.

"You too."

The door opened and it was Morty. His face looked scarred and he closed the door and left. Rick and I finally stopped kissing.

"Hey (Y/N), wanna go on an adventure with me and Morty?"

"Sure."

"Morty, (Y/N), and Rick Time!"

***

Date: 9/20/17