The Danish Delight (Mads Mikkelsen)

Chapter 35: "Fault"

Chapter 35: "Fault"

Three months had passed since I read that letter, and within those three months I had worked to make significant changes for the better in my life. I had learned that before I could move on into my future, I had to evaluate my past. I had to improve upon myself as a person and learn to pace myself steadily. I had to learn to understand, in complete variation, both myself and the ones I love. I had to learn to accept the contents of my life for what they were and move forward with an open mind. Moreover, I had to learn forgiveness.

That letter left me with feelings that I could not possibly express through any singular emotion. Feelings of regret, sorrow, love, and shame haunted me for days. A wonderment of curiosity crept within the pit of my conscience until inevitably rooting itself within my heart. I had asked myself how I could possibly come to face him again... how I could ever manage to apologize for the constant pain and torment I put him through. How could I live on knowing that I caused him nothing but misfortune? I couldn't.

I realized that no matter how much we yearned for each other, no matter how much I coveted the bliss of his porcelain kiss, I could no longer be a part of his life. I could not force him through a lifetime of hardship and unsettled misery. If I loved him, I had to prove that love by keeping my distance. If I truly loved him, I needed to grant him that one mercy.

Cutting my connection to Mads meant cutting my connections to our mutual friends as well. So, after his graceful help in the ultimate production of my film final, Samuel left for Peru with Annabella and hadn't any communication with me from that point on. As for Arnie, I saw him one last time, as only to bid him adieu, before leaving the studio for good.

In coherence to my transition, I forced myself into forgiving my father and mother for the detailed secrets they kept from me for so many years, and with that forgiveness came a far better, strengthened relationship than ever before. I began to include them in the more recent events of my life to make up for my more distant/ resentful years. I invited the both of them to my graduation ceremony and the not-so-privately private viewing of my film that would proceed the following month; A film that not only earned me an exemplary grade in my creative film class, but a year-long paid internship in London, England.

The events of my past aside, I willingly kept the content of my focus moving onward toward a more promising future. A future that was absent of any unwanted regret or heartache. A future that was absent of him.

That's how I'd wanted it, at least... A fresh start.

I mean, that's what I had planned.

But, of course, as previous instances may have already proven, nothing in my life goes according to plan.

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"Ladies and Gentlemen, before we conclude for the evening, please join me in congratulating our guest of honor, Ms. Elise Desmond, with one last round of applause." Mike guided the audience in their vigorously cheerful clapping as I sat, timidly, in the array of people. "Exemplary work, Elise!"

I nodded at him in appreciation of his words.

"Yes, yes, wonderful work. Thank you all once again for coming tonight, it was truly a treat to have you all take part in USC's final private film event of the season. Drive safely." The dean escorted Mike offstage as everyone scurried from their seats in the auditorium toward the dark parking-lot.

My exhaustion from the day aside, I'd wanted to stay behind to spend a few moments to shake hands with administrators, professors, and peers. So, I kissed my proud parents farewell and waved as they drove back to their hotel just a few miles away from the campus.

Just as I had finished greeting the last of my companions and headed toward my beat-down Volkswagen, a familiar shadow emerged from behind.

"Hello, Elise." Mads candidly smiled with the sight of my confused face. "No need to converse with me if you'd prefer not to. I simply wanted to congratulate you on your film's immense success. It seems to have brought you far."

I tried desperately not to mumble, but his beautiful stature and infectious accent brought me nearly to tears; I'd missed him so. "Th-th-thank y-you. I- you- uh... You came?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"But.." I paused briefly to catch my breath and comprehend his sincerity. "How did you-"

"Samuel had told me about the masterpiece you created and I just knew that it would be an instant success. So, I did a bit of research- snooping, if you will- to find a way to see the excellence of your work with my own eyes. I soon found out about the private viewing to be held in your honor and once I called your dean and explained the situation at hand, he agreed to make an exception." He started to giggle nervously. "Although, that exception may or may not have been a detailed compromise to give him 2 court-side tickets to the next Laker's game."

Mads' words brought forth a genuine laughter from the back of my throat... and ever-so slightly from the snort of my nose. "Wow, that seems to be a very detailed compromise, indeed. I hope, for the sake of your hassle, that this evening wasn't too much of a bore."

"Never." His comical mood changed swiftly. "Life is never a bore with you, Elise."

We remained silent, staring deeply into one another's eyes, until I blinked to release myself of his captivating spell.

"Ah-erm." Mads cleared his throat. "Samuel had also told me that you read my letter."

"Yeah.... I, um, I meant to apologize to you, for the way that I acted... all that I had put you through. I just.... uh.... I guess I just didn't know how."

"Oh Elise," He squeezed his hazel eyes shut and shook his head, causing his loose locks to sway. "Do not apologize for the hell I put you through. What I did... how I treated you... it's unforgivable, Elise. I am the only one at fault."

No, no you're not.