So in the chapter Car Adventures with Tyler and Shane Shrek went to hide in a bush because he was shook and I have no inspirations for this chapter so I'm just going to write about Shrek so... (he needs more parts tbh. also I feel like this needs a swearing warning... so there it is)
OH MAH GARD I CANT BALIV I JUST DID THAT I FEEL IS I SHOOK. Why did I kiss Tyler? Did he even like it? Why do I exist? I can't do this anymore I want to go back to mah swamp... the Starbucks box... boi I wanna go home. Where is home? Im lost.
Oh nope, here's a bush I'll just hide in that. It's green like me so it will hide me nicely I guess. I lowered my thicc body behind the shrub. I noticed a small snail scooting along the rubble.
"Hello." The snail said.
"Hi" I responded, unaware that I was still oozing green liquids from being shook.
"I am v slow and my body leaves a weird slimey trail whenever I move." shouted the snail.
"Same when I get shook my body does that too. It usually happens when I see a fine fella and I want to be like hey will you be the Troy to my Gabriella"
The snail looked very confused by what the ogre had said to him. He tried to move faster but he couldn't because he was running out of gas.
"Hey big guy, can you take me over to that 711 over there so I can get some gas?" The snail asked me. I didn't know if I should take offense to him saying big guy or not. My Moms always told me I was just a bit thicc and that I needed the extra layers to hold my attitude.
"UrM you will have to answer three questions for me first." I said. I didn't know what they were going to be yet but I decided to just wing it.
"Okie" Said the snail.
"What is your name and what are your aspirations?"
" My name is Shuneqa and I like chasing cars." The snail spurted.
"But you're a snail"
"Don't shame my talent green bean."
I wrapped my arms around my body hiding my sexi flesh from the Snail who was clearly a satanist. I can't take this kind of hate. Who does this garbanzo bean think he is? I am Shrek king of Lazy town. I had to kill that Robbie Rotten bitch to get my crown and this little snail thinks he can attack me? oH hElL nO!
"BOI DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! FIRSTLY CHASING CARS IS NOT A TALENT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE JUST A SLIMEY ASS HOE! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND STOP, LIKE WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO COME AND CALL ME... MOI A GREEN BEEN? YOU KNOW IM GOING GO NOW I CANNOT TAKE THIS DISRESPECT. R-E-S-P-E-C-T TOU'LL NEVER EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO MEME." I shouted at the snail bitch who had officially made me loose my marbles.
I got up from the bush and walked away sassily.
But then I turned around and picked that bootyhole snail and threw him into oblivion.
I'm sorry. -Dilly
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Keeping up with the Blobshrooms
RandomNow, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was wh...
